The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this disturbing trends. Give your solution for the causes.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

Nowadays, the percentage of overweight

children

Use synonyms

in Western countries has risen by nearly 20% over the

last

Linking Words

decade.

This

Linking Words

is a serious problem for

society

Check wording

society's

show examples

health concern. In

this

Linking Words

Verb problem

apply

show examples

essay

Punctuation problem

show examples

I will discuss the causes and effects of childhood obesity and suggest a solution.

This

Linking Words

disturbing trend is driven by multiple interconnected causes.

Children

Use synonyms

consume excessive

amount

Check wording

amounts

show examples

of fast food, sugary drinks, and processed snacks high in calories, fats, and sugar. Another reason is that

Use synonyms

children

Check wording

children's

show examples

lifestyles have become common

due to

Linking Words

increased screen time on their smartphones, tablets and computers.

physical

Fix capitalization

Physical

show examples

education in schools has decreased

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

many

children

Use synonyms

spend less time playing outdoors. Busy

parents

Check wording

parents'

show examples

work schedules

also

Linking Words

limit opportunities for

home made

Correct your spelling

homemade

healthy meals and

family friendly

Correct your spelling

family-friendly

exercise. Childhood obesity can have many negative effects. Overweight

children

Use synonyms

will have high blood pressure and

joins

Replace the word

joint

problems at an early age.

Linking Words

this

Fix capitalization

This

show examples

can potencially lowers their confidence and affects to their life. One possible solution for

that is

Linking Words

encourage

Verb problem

to encourage

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to make their lifestyle

Rephrase

apply

show examples

healthier. Schools and parents should provide nutritious meals and more outdoor activities. They

also

Linking Words

should use their devices less. Inconclusion childhood obesity is caused by unhealthy eating habits and less

exercising

Replace the word

exercise

however

Linking Words

support from schools and parents can help them reduce

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

this

Linking Words

problems

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they

also

Linking Words

need to choose

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

lifestyle.

maestroacademyuzb

Jun 5, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer all parts more fully. You discuss causes, effects, and solutions, but the effects and solutions need more detail.

task response

Give one or two clear examples to support your ideas, such as school food or time on screens.

task response

Make each main idea clearer. Some sentences are hard to understand because of grammar and word choice.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer linking words between ideas, for example: firstly, as a result, in addition, finally.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence form and capital letters, because small errors make the flow weaker.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a short conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a logical order: causes, effects, then solutions.

task response

You answer the main topic and stay on it.

task response

You include more than one cause, which is good for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consumption
processed snacks
sedentary lifestyle
digital entertainment
balanced diet
junk food
diabetes
high blood pressure
heart diseases
low self-esteem
nutritious meal options
combat
educational programs
obesity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Some individuals are of the opinion that the internet supports people in bridging the gap between people, regardless of the place we are living in, while some people believe it prevents people from having social communication. From my standpoint, I wholly believe that the internet is beneficial since it helps users broaden their horizons . This essay will expound upon this by giving compelling reasons and practical examples.
6
band
Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?
For decades, the number of people has been increasing significantly, creating an overcrowded world with limited food and energy supplies. A stigma around several societies is one of the reasons regarding this issue, and there is a way to tackle this problem, which will be explained further on.
6.5
band
Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays an increasing number of people are becoming concerned about their health and the quality of their diet. There are two diametrically opposed opinions on the matter. Some people believe that each and every individual is responsible for their own health while others state that it is the government that must ensure that the citizens have healthy eating habits.
7.5
band
It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Learning via technological advancements is believed to be better than learning from a teacher. In my opinion, this learning style is significantly useful for expanding students’ knowledge, but it can also negatively affect their communication skills.
6
band
More and more people prefer consuming food imports from foreign countries, instead of domestically produced foodstuff. What are the reasons and solutions?
It is true that many individuals enjoy eating exotic food from outlandish nations. This essay will shed light on the dangers it brings for citizens and society and propose some measures of this worrying trend.

The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss causes and effects of this disturbing trends. Give your solution for the causes.

Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed that students at schools and universities can learn better via technology rather than with teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people prefer consuming food imports from foreign countries, instead of domestically produced foodstuff. What are the reasons and solutions?