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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many people nowadays use
convenience
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food
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 to save time.
Although
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this
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 type of
food
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 offers several advantages, it
also
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 has some serious disadvantages. On the one hand,
convenience
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food
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 is very useful for busy people. It can be prepared quickly, which saves time and effort.
This
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 is especially helpful for students and workers who have busy schedules.
In addition
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,
convenience
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food
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 is often tasty and easy to find in restaurants and supermarkets.
On the other hand
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,
convenience
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food
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 may have negative effects on health. Many products contain large amounts of sugar, salt, oil, and artificial ingredients. Eating
this
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 type of
food
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 regularly can increase the risk of obesity, high blood pressure, and Type 2 Diabetes.
Furthermore
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, buying
convenience
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food
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 frequently can be more expensive than preparing meals at home. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
convenience
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food
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 outweigh its advantages.
While
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 it can save time and provide
convenience
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, maintaining good health is more important in the long term.
However
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, people can still enjoy
convenience
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food
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 occasionally as part of a balanced diet.

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task response
For task response, add a bit more detail to each main idea. For example, say how convenience food helps in daily life, and why home food may cost less.
task response
For task response, give one clear example. A short real life example can make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use a few more linking words like 'as a result', 'for example', and 'therefore' to show ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, develop each body paragraph a little more so each main point has fuller support.
task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas are easy to follow and the paragraphs are in a good order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • food
  • modern
  • lifestyle
  • speed
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • time
  • busy
  • individuals
  • meals
  • quick
  • efficient
  • affordable
  • money
  • flavors
  • dishes
  • cultures
  • cooking
  • supermarkets
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