the graphs below show the number of people in europle affected by four types of noise pollution in 2007

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Presented in the given bar graph are data relating to effects
such
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as
traffic
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, trains, aircraft,
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industry
Correct word choice
and industry
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to
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on
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individuals who lived in Europe in 2007. The data
measured
Verb problem
is measured
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in
numbers of
Check wording
apply
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millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
in both urban and rural areas
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traffic
Punctuation problem
, traffic
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recorded the highest figure,
while
Linking Words
industry
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accounted for the smallest share. Observing in detail, in cities,
traffic
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impacted 68 and 48, in
day
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and
night
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relatively
Punctuation problem
, relatively
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. The impact of trains was almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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, accounting for 10 and 8.
Aircraft
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Aircraft's
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influence
to
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on
show examples
people represented 4 in
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day
Correct article usage
the day
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,
while
Linking Words
it constituted 1
in
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at
show examples
night
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.
Industry
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affected 1 in daytime
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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it impacted 0.25
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night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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was the smallest index. Turning to the figures of rural areas,
traffic
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impact made up 35 and 24, in
day
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and
night
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respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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.
While
Linking Words
the figure for trains illustrated 8 in
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day
Correct article usage
the day
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, it represented 6
in
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at
show examples
night
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. The
effect
Check wording
effects
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of
aircraft
Correct article usage
the aircraft
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differed from 1 to each other.
Industry
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did not
influenced
Wrong verb form
influence
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citizens both
in
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during the
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day
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words traffic, industry, day, night with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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