Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

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Globalization
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Globalisation
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is erasing borders and
differences
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among
the
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apply
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countries
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. The same content is displayed everywhere in the
world
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.
Moreover
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, rapid technological advancements
made
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have made
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any information accessible.
Although
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these changes in the
world
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grow
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bring
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the
countries
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closer
regardless
Rephrase
together regardless
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of the distance, borders and
differences
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, I believe that it carries negative impacts like
crisis
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a crisis
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in cultural identity and that far outweighs any possible advantage.
Globalization
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Globalisation
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opens up many positive prospects for developing
countries
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,
such
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as the opportunities to improve their economy
with
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through
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global trade. Nowadays, many
countries
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are open for trading and good exchange.
While
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this
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gives poorer
countries
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an opportunity to get exposed to the global market and export their resources to drive investment, it
also
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benefits the developed
countries
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to import the needed goods.
Moreover
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, in a closely integrated
world
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developments
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, developments
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happen at a very rapid rate. Knowledge becomes a tool
that is
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very accessible across the
world
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;
as well as
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,
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apply
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experiences and skills are exchanged
driving
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, driving
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positive changes.
On the other hand
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,
differences
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are what
makes
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make
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countries
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and cultures unique.Erasing those
differences
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may lead to the loss of your own cultural identity. When nations start forgetting their roots, they become very vulnerable and easily brainwashed by the stronger
countries
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. Most of the information and advancements come from the West, and
consequently
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, the whole
world
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is being westernised right now.
Therefore
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, it is important to preserve one’s cultural uniqueness
to
Correct word choice
so as
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not
be
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to be
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controlled by the
world
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. In conclusion, on one hand, globalisation is impacting the
world
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positively by bringing
countries
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together and facilitating the exchange of knowledge and experiences.
On the other hand
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, there is a risk that small, underdeveloped
countries
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may fall
to
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under
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the influence of the
west
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West
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, and
as a result
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lose their cultural identity.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. This is good. But you need to answer the question more directly all the way. The topic is about films, fashion, brands, ads, and TV, but your essay talks more about global trade and technology. Stay closer to the exact topic.
task response
Task response: You discuss both good and bad sides, and you say the bad side is stronger. This fits the question. But your ideas need more detail. Add one or two clear real-life examples about media, fashion, or brands.
task response
Task response: Some main ideas are good, like loss of culture. But one point, about poor countries and trade, feels less connected to the question. Choose ideas that match the prompt more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part structure: intro, one good side, one bad side, and conclusion. This helps the reader follow your thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Most linking words are used well, such as 'moreover', 'on the other hand', and 'therefore'. But sometimes the connection between ideas is weak. For example, the move from same media and brands to world trade is too sudden.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your second body paragraph is stronger because it stays on one main idea. In the first body paragraph, try to keep one focus only. If the paragraph is about advantages, give only advantages that clearly come from people using the same media and brands.
task response
Task response: You clearly state your position in the introduction: the disadvantages are greater than the advantages. This is strong and easy to understand.
task response
Task response: You cover both sides of the argument, which is important for this kind of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use clear paragraphs, and the ending matches the introduction well.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay is easy to follow most of the time because your ideas are in a logical order.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Homogenization
  • Erode
  • Global Heritage
  • Multinational Companies
  • Economic Disparities
  • Linguistic Diversity
  • Global Community
  • Social Cohesion
  • Dissemination of Information
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Artistic Expressions
  • Local Customs
  • Dominant Languages
  • Prevalent
  • Global Brands
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