Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices helps them develop better decision-making skills. Others think children need firm guidance from adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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in
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In
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this
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modern era, there is
ongoing
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an ongoing
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debate over
wether
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whether
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children
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must depend on themselves in making decisions.
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this esaay
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This essay
will discuss both
prespective
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perspectives
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before
i
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I
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explain why
i
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I
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strongly agree with
this
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idea.
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to
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To
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begin with, some advocates
beleive
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believe
that
children
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in general lack the skill of decision making,
hence
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the
beleif
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belief
.
in
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In
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my opinion,
children
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can
actully
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actually
make their choices on their own.
the
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The
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process of taking the responability can help them build
confidenace
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confidence
in themseleves,
in
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addition
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addition,
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they can become more self-dependant espeically in daily life choices and simple tasks.
moreover
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,they
obtian experiance
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obtain experience
in life which can help them in
near
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the near
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future.
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furthermore
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Furthermore
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, it can obviously build their
personalties
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personalities
in a good way.
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however
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However
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,
parents
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should be more patient with their kids, and expect
smome
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some
mistakes
, in
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. In
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fact
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fact,
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research has
showen
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shown
that
children
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at certin age group between 8-10
yreas
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years
old
,
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apply
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clearly have decision making skill and
thus
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,
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apply
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boots thier self-esteam in
comparsion
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comparison
with
same
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the same
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age group
whom their
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whose
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parents
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did not allow them to make their own
dicision
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decisions
. in ther other hand, some
beleive
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believe
that
parents
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shoul
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should
always guide their kids and be strict with them to
minmize
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minimise
the mishaps that can occur despite the load the
parents
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bear.
in
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In
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my prespective
this
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can
obviuosly
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obviously
affect the
parents
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negatively. therfore
parents
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have more
anexity
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anxiety
,less
patince
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patience
, and more
responsibale
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responsibility
.
in
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In
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conclusion,
i
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I
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firmly
beleive
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believe
that
children
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can make their own choices and
parents
Use synonyms
should help and supervise their kids .

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task response
Task response: discuss both sides more evenly. The side about adult guidance is too short.
task response
Task response: make your opinion very clear in the body, not only in the end.
task response
Task response: use one clear example for each side to make ideas stronger.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it fully.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: use simple link words well, like first, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: check sentence order so each sentence follows the one before it clearly.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use some link words like to begin with, moreover, however, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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