IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that students should be allowed to use mobile phones at school. Others believe that mobile phones should be banned in schools

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There is no denying the fact that mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are really
comoen
Correct your spelling
convenient
 to
use
Use synonyms
 nowadays.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
students
Use synonyms
 should be free to
gat
Use the right word
take
show examples
 their
phones
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that others
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
 should not have their
phones
Use synonyms
 with them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, some of the
students
Use synonyms
 may
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 their
phones
Use synonyms
 to contact the
pernse
Correct your spelling
person
 for some important information.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the learners
finished the
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they want to text the prison who will pick them up to
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
.
In addition
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, they
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 it
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 save significant information
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
like a
Change preposition
such as
show examples
 photos.
For example
Linking Words
, when the
students
Use synonyms
 have an exams and they did not have enough time to take
note
Check wording
notes
show examples
 when they were in the close
therefore
Linking Words
 can
use
Use synonyms
 the photos they took
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it is useful to do it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
countimtion
Correct your spelling
communication
 will be less between the
students
Use synonyms
 because
the
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do not need to ask each other for information they miss. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that
engage
Replace the word
engagement
 will decrease in the
closes
Use the right word
classes
show examples
 because they will be
district
Wrong verb form
distracted
show examples
 by
phones
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they may not ask a lot of
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 because they may believe the phone is more helpful
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then
Use the right word
than
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 the teacher.
Moreover
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, it is possible to
use
Use synonyms
 it in
trouble
Correct word choice
various
show examples
 ways
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 photos with
premishna
Fix capitalization
Premishna
show examples
 and post it in social media.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a student wanted to
pole
Use the right word
poll
show examples
 a poor
student
Punctuation problem
student,
show examples
 it is
more easy
Replace the word
easier
 for him to just have a bad photo of the other
plowing
Change the spelling
ploughing
show examples
 him. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 should be
wisely
Verb problem
used wisely
show examples
 and carefully.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more clear way. Say why each side is good or bad.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the body and in the end.
task response
Use examples that are easy to understand and fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a correct way, like first, also, however, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You used an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to give examples for your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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