IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, women and men are still not equal in the workplace. Some people think this is unfair, while others believe it is a natural difference.Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

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Women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 are not equal in some workplaces, and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 two
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point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Check wording
view
show examples
 to look at the situation,
point
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 of
view
Use synonyms
 one is all about how
women
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 and
men
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 are equal everywhere and in every situation,
point
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 of
view
Use synonyms
 2 says that there are differences between
women
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 and
men
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not in everything.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
point
Use synonyms
 of
view
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 1
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 think that
men
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 and
women
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 are equal
,
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 soccer professional players should be paid
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as
men
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 soccer players,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 happen
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of sponsorships, fans, investors, and budgets
thats
Punctuation problem
. That's
show examples
 why
its
Correct your spelling
it's
 not fair for both sides to be paid equally.
Point
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 of
view
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 2 shows the difference between
men
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 and
women
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,
men
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 and
women
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 are different genetically and physically,
for example
Linking Words
women
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 working at a construction site is getting paid 13$/h,
however
Linking Words
 a man working at a construction site gets paid 18$/h, because
men
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 are stronger they can get the job done way faster than the
women
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,
this
Linking Words
 not sexism its just how god created two genders to be different from each other and each has its own advantages. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I'd say
point
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 of
view
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 2 is more rational and realistic, only because god created us that way, and
men
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 are supposed to be stronger
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women
Punctuation problem
, women
show examples
 are supposed to be softer its just the way of life. Its bot fair for
men
Use synonyms
 to be paid equally for a
Use synonyms
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
 who
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
 compete with the
men
Use synonyms
 on how fast they can get the job done if
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 a physical job.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why some people think it is unfair, and why others think it is natural.
task response
Give your own view in a clear way from the start and again in the end.
task response
Main ideas are there, but some are not fully explained. Add one or two more clear reasons for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has basic parts, but links between ideas are weak. Use simple words like first, on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph stay on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are very long and hard to follow. Split them into shorter sentences.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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