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Writing Samples
Band 5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two maps
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the
norbiton
Capitalize the proper name
Norbiton
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 in the present
days
Check wording
day
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the planned development.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
norbiton
Capitalize the proper name
Norbiton
show examples
 industrial
area
Use synonyms
 is located
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side of the town, with a river on the north, separating the farmland from the industrial
area
Use synonyms
, which is located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
map
Use synonyms
, represented by a few factory
biuldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and roads, followed by the main road at the extreme south of the
map
Use synonyms
.
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 planned development shows a substantially growth and modifications of the
overall
Linking Words
 infrastructure of the
area
Use synonyms
 between the farmland and the main road.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the planned development of the
norbiton
Capitalize the proper name
Norbiton
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 replaces what
once were
Correct word order
were once
show examples
 factories for
housings
Replace the word
housing
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the roads have been developed to
acomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 all the new
biuldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 that have been planned for the
area
Use synonyms
, which are
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 a school and a playground
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side of the roundabout located in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
map
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 shops and a medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 around the
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a bridge is planned for the north of the
map
Use synonyms
 to cross the river and provide
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 to the housing that will be located in farmland.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, overall".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, map with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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