Modern lifestyles are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Some people think the changes have been postitive, while others believe they have been negative. Discuss both these points of view and give your opinion.

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In recent decades, the way
people
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live has changed significantly compared to previous generations.
While
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some
people
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believe these changes have brought numerous benefits, others argue that they have had negative effects.
Although
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current
people
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have a sedentary lifestyle and
health
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problems, and stress increases, better
health
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care and
communication
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have improved. On the one hand, the current generation
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people are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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facing a sedentary lifestyle.
This
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is because they have to spend long hours sitting at desks or using phone
due to
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which they have to face obesity and other
health
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issue which effects there
health
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level
at
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to
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a serious note.
Similarly
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, high competition and deadline pressure create stressfull environment for
people
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, as a
results
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result
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they face various mental
health
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issues
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.
For example
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, many office employee spend eight to nine hours at the office
setting
Verb problem
sitting
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in front of a computer, which causes them back pain and leads to serious problems with their back function.
However
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, I believe work
balanced
Replace the word
balance
can help to resolve
such
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issues
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by engaging staff in physical activities 30 minutes before or after work.
On the other hand
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, the current lifestyle is more focused on modern medicine, which helps
people
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live longer.
Additionally
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, diseases can be diagnosed and treated more effectively.
This
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is because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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new technologies are use at medical line ,
due to
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which more advanced services are provided on time, so that any
health
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issues
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do not rely on a longer period.
In addition
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, life today has improved
communication
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because technology allows instant
communication
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worldwide , and families and friends can stay connected despite distance.
For instance
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, more than millions of
people
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use WhatsApp and Facebook to connect with close
people
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, even though they have mile distance, relationships with eachother is survived with the support of social media.
Therefore
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, it has made life easier by providing easy solutions to them with various options. In conclusion, over the years,
people
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's way of living have transfer dramaticlly.
Although
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many individuals view these changes as positive advancements, others contend that they have had detrimental impacts on society. I believe, even though it create stressfull situation and
health
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issues
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, new technology at medical sectors have improved the
health
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system , and advanced technology improves
communication
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with each other.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more equal way.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the intro and keep it the same to the end.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like also, so, but, because, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one.
task response
You answered both views and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You used an intro, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You gave examples about office work and social media.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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