IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

lack of clean water bring various problem to the stable of many countries on the whole world. Discuss this opinion and give your opinion.

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Shortage of clean
water
Use synonyms
 is one of the burning issue in the worldwide.
Water
Use synonyms
 is getting polluted
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 numerous ways.
For example
Linking Words
,
wastage
Correct article usage
the wastage
show examples
 of factories and other environmental factors. In some countries, there is no clean
water
Use synonyms
 at all, because
water
Use synonyms
 is getting polluted from household and commercial
wastage
Check wording
waste
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
 unclean
water
Use synonyms
, individuals are facing fatal diseases
such
Linking Words
 as cancer and other
digestion related
Replace the word
digestive-related
 ailments.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. You need to discuss the problem and also give your opinion clearly.
task response
Add more main ideas. Now the essay is very short, so your answer is not fully developed.
task response
Use clear examples to support each main point. One or two simple examples will help a lot.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Use a simple plan: introduction, body, body, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences with simple words like because, so, also, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Write one clear main idea in each paragraph, then explain it.
task response
You stayed on the topic of clean water.
task response
You gave a cause and an effect of water pollution.
coherence and cohesion
Your meaning is usually clear at sentence level.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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