IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows information about member attendance at various clubs in a metro city. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevent.

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The given bar chart reveals information on visit of members to four clubs in a metro city for a
seven month
Correct your spelling
seven-month
 period. It is clearly seen from the graph that the number of
visits
Use synonyms
 to
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
club
Use synonyms
 had been almost constant in the first six months,amounting to around 60000.
However
Linking Words
,in the month of July,they increased to almost 780000. The most regularity in
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
visits
Use synonyms
 was
also
Linking Words
 seen in the case of
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Use synonyms
Club
Punctuation problem
Club,
show examples
 where
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
members'
visits
Use synonyms
 again remained in the range of around 60000. Japanese
Club
Use synonyms
 observed nearly 39000
visitors
Use synonyms
 in January
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that increased to about 47000 in April,but after that, the
visitors
Use synonyms
 decreased and remained steady at about 43000.
Finally
Linking Words
, the clear winner in terms of
numbers
Check wording
the number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was the American
Club
Use synonyms
, with nearly 80000
visitors
Use synonyms
 for the first four months,and
then
Linking Words
 the numbers soared to nearly 97000 in June and settled at about 85000 in July. In conclusion,the bar charts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that the entry to all the clubs remained almost steady
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 exception of the American
Club
Use synonyms
,which saw a handsome rise in
visits
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 two months.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, club, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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