IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below shows the amount of area used for growing grains between 1990 and 2010 in a state in Canada. Someone is the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

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The given bar charts compare the changes in the amount of land used to grow
con
Correct your spelling
corn
 and weight in different
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 state of Canada for a period of 20 years. Corn and wheat were grown to the maximum with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
respect to
area
Use synonyms
 in the region of Redfield. It was grown here on 60
acres
Use synonyms
 and ended up at around 55
acres
Use synonyms
 of cultivation in 2010.
However
Linking Words
,
area
Use synonyms
 to grow on reduce the
significantly
Check wording
area significantly
show examples
 from 140
acres
Use synonyms
 in 1990 to 60
acres
Use synonyms
 in 2010
the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
 same pattern was followed in Sunnyvale in wheat farming
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
Use synonyms
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
 used
a con
Check wording
apply
show examples
rose to almost double
example
Change preposition
, for example
show examples
like
Change preposition
, from
show examples
 5
acres
Use synonyms
 to 10
acres
Use synonyms
. Spring planes
also
Linking Words
 witnessed
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
reduction
Correct word choice
significant reduction
show examples
 in land used to grow
both
Use synonyms
 wheat and cones from 35
acres
Use synonyms
 to 22
acres
Use synonyms
 and from 20
acres
Use synonyms
through
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost zero
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Similar
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
area
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 showed the same trend in
Use synonyms
both
Punctuation problem
, both
show examples
 corn and
wait
Use the right word
wheat
show examples
 farming
.
Verb problem
showed the same trend.
show examples
Finally
Linking Words
, it is clearly defective in the graph that the
area
Use synonyms
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
 to grow
Use synonyms
both
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 these grains, reduced substantially with
one
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 exception of the land in Sunnyvale, where corn was grown on more
acres
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, acres, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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