IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information on the percentages of British people giving money to charity by range for the years 1990 and 2010.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The provided bar chart illustrates the percentage of residents giving money to charity
by range
Check wording
apply
show examples
in Britain from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it's clear that the era began with a low proportion.
While
Linking Words
 in other periods percentages are high,
this
Linking Words
 illustration has some fluctuations.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the middle of the period was the highest fee. Individuals between 18
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
25 years show a weak proportion , especially in 2010,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is about 6% and 17%.
While
Linking Words
 the age 26-35 per cent is already high , with approximately 31% and 24%.
In addition
Linking Words
, residents between 36
-
Correct word choice
and
show examples
50 hit the high point,
that is
Linking Words
 42% and 35%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people aged 51 to 65 are actually older, but their bonuses are higher than those of young people,
while
Linking Words
 65+
also
Linking Words
 doesn't lag behind,
although
Linking Words
 they are already retired, illustrating incredible statistics,
that is
Linking Words
 approximately 35% and 33% in two periods, namely in 1990 and 2010

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition, that is, while".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • charity = help for people in need
  • percentage = part out of one hundred
  • age group = people of the same age range
  • give money = donate
  • rose = went up
  • fell = went down
  • highest = biggest
  • lowest = smallest
  • peak = highest point
  • by contrast = in a different way
  • overall = in general
  • more likely = had a higher chance
  • younger people = people with lower age
  • older people = people with higher age
  • the figure for = the number/percentage for
  • reach a peak = get to the highest point
  • decline = go down slowly
  • increase = go up
  • compared with = looked at next to
  • in both years = in 1990 and 2010
What to do next:
Look at other essays: