IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is damaging the environment and should stop. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is observed by some individuals that financial growth is the answer to overcome poverty in the world,
while
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 others believe that it would endanger the flora and fauna if given excessive weight.
Although
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 it will adversely impact the natural resources with its waste, industrial development will bring economic development by generating employment and wealth. Natural resources are limited on
this
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 planet, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 regions should
takes
Wrong verb form
take
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 measures in preserving
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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 by reducing the adverse impact of the industries.
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Instead
Punctuation problem
Instead,
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 many of these nations are inviting these companies to open their branches in their jurisdiction.
For instance
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, Canada has proposed
Honda
Change preposition
to the Honda
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 industry to open their premises in
their
Correct determiner usage
the
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 state and has given them abundance of land to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 it. These factories result in
release
Correct article usage
the release
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 of harmful waste toxic
for
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to
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 the environment. So, financial growth should not be at the cost of damaging the environment.
However
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, economic stability is
also
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 a significant factor to be fulfilled by the government to reduce poverty. By establishing factories,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 or private sectors assist in generating employment and
balance
Wrong verb form
balancing
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 the financial stability. It has resulted in a higher economic development than any other sector
like
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, such as
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 agriculture or Information Technology.
For example
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, China has generated a huge revenue from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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establishing their manufacturing industrial companies.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,
due to
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 globalisation, it becomes easier for these industries to sell their products all around the world and share profits among their employees. I believe that setting up factories to give people jobs helps in
develpment
Correct your spelling
development
. In conclusion, financial
deveopment
Correct your spelling
development
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 best way to uplift the poor section of the society, and adverse
effect
Check wording
effects
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 on the forests should be treated as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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minimal impairment for the benefit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully before you give your view.
task response
Make your opinion very clear in the introduction and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Add one or two more clear ideas about how growth can cut poverty and how it can hurt nature.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and link it clearly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are hard to follow because the meaning is not always clear. Keep sentences shorter.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, however, for example, and in conclusion in a clear way, not too much.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and small grammar errors because they can make your ideas less clear.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The main topic of each paragraph is mostly clear.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Infrastructural development
  • Social services
  • Quality of life
  • Trickle-down effect
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Industrialization
  • Deforestation
  • Climate change
  • Biodiversity
  • Resource depletion
  • Sustainable growth
  • Renewable energy
  • Wellbeing indices
  • Environmental protection
  • Technological advancements
  • Global responsibility
  • Consumer behavior
  • Green technology
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