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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Education is a critical element of the prosperity of any nation. The more educated people in a country are, the more successful their nation becomes.” Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this statement. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience or observations.

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A lot of
people
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 in our era believe that
education
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 makes
people
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 more successful than others . In
fact
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,
that is
Linking Words
 not a role, because we see many
people
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 do impressive things
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they do not finish college. In my opinion , being educated does not mean you will be a successful person . At the same time , it is important to be educated , but
education
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 is not the role to be successful .
To begin
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 with,
experience
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 can be the best teacher more than any person
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world.
This
Linking Words
 is the
fact
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 , taking the
experience
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 and trying to solve real problems is the best way to succeed,more than
books
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,nots and long hours in
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
books
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 .
Such
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 as, lower before he takes his card from the governemnt he should practice and try to solve problems.
Additionally
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, in a lot of
companies
Punctuation problem
companies,
show examples
 they want
experience
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 more than any
education
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the environment teaches you a lot of work.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the environment can change your
experience
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 and test your values.
such
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 as a teacher working in a new school, he
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees how
show examples
 another teacher
how to teach
Wrong verb form
teaches
show examples
, and he learns from him. In
fact
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,
this
Linking Words
 way in teach were not written in
books
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, or no one knows it .
Therefore
Linking Words
, your environment and your
experience
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 teach you things you will not find in any
books
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. In conclusion ,
education
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 is critical, but
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 not the role to be a successful person .
Experience
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 will teach you some things you will not find in any
books
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 . In
fact
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 , all
people
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 can take the same
education
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 , but not one of them will take the same
experience
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, and know how to learn
frome
Correct your spelling
from it
.

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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say how much you agree or disagree and keep this view clear in all parts.
task response
Add more clear ideas about the nation, not only about one person. The topic is about a country and its success.
task response
Use examples that are easy to understand and more direct. Some examples now are not clear enough.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like first, for example, also, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts now feel sudden or hard to follow.
task response
You give a clear opinion: education is important, but it is not the only way to success.
coherence and cohesion
You include an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples from life and work.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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