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Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

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The
amount
Check wording
number
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 of foreign tourists to a European state's three distinct territories
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the coast, the
mountains
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 lakes
over
Punctuation problem
, over
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 a
period
Use synonyms
 of 30 years
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 illustrated in the line graph.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that for most of the depicted
period
Use synonyms
, each area had an increase compared to
their start
Fix the agreement mistake
its starting
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 point. The coast had the most overseas visitors,
while
Linking Words
 the
mountains
Use synonyms
 had the least
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 though the remaining area demonstrated a significant
raise
Check wording
rise
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, it was followed by a slight fluctuation. In 1987, the number of visitors to the coast began at approximately 40,000 , which decreased to 30,000 in 1992.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 shrinkage, it experienced a surge to around 55,000 in 1997
,
Punctuation problem
;
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after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 of sudden rise, it remained with a steady increase.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the tourists to the
mountains
Use synonyms
 remained steady from 1987 to 1992
at
Change preposition
apply
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,
up
Change preposition
apply
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until 1997
where
Correct word choice
, when
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 it climbed to 28,000.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced a slight decline between 1998
to
Correct word choice
and
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 2002. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 the
mountains
Use synonyms
 had an increase from 20,000 to 30,000 in 2007.
In contrast
Linking Words
 with the mountain's negligible movement, the lakes faced a tremendous
soar
Use the right word
rise
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 from 10,000 to over 75,000 in the
period
Use synonyms
 of 1987-2002.
However
Linking Words
, after these
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 the lakes had a decrease in 2003
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 made it fall to a point of approximately 50,000.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mountains, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
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