IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The data for international
visitors
Use synonyms
 to three
various
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
destinations in a European country from 1987 to 2007 is illustrated by the chart.
It is clear that
Linking Words
, at the beginning, the most popular destination on the chart was the
coast
Use synonyms
, and the least popular one was the mountains. Over time, all of
destinations
Correct article usage
the destinations
show examples
 showed
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
coast
Correct article usage
the coast
show examples
 remained the highest Looking at the details, in 1987, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the
coast
Use synonyms
 stood at 40,000. There was a slight decrease in it between 1987 and 1992,approximately by 5,000.
Then
Linking Words
, throughout the period,
coast
Use synonyms
 travels showed a dramatic rise and reached the top at 70,000.Meanwhile, the travels to the lakes
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most unpopular area in 1987 with the 10,000
visitors
Use synonyms
. Though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the lakes showed a dramatic rise between 1997 and 2002 and reached a peak of itself by about 75,000
visitors
Use synonyms
 yearly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of travels to mountains experienced a steady growth
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
 remained the lowest throughout the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, coast with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas visitors
  • number of
  • areas
  • European country
  • between
  • 1987 and 2000
  • graph
  • introduce
  • overview
  • trends
  • describe
  • analyze
  • compare and contrast
  • summarize
  • main findings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: