Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion And examples from your own experience.

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It is believed that
art
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courses
such
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as music, creative writing and drama are an essential part of education, and schools should include them in its studying program. I strongly agree with
this
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statement and
in
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, in
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this
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essay
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essay,
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explain my opinion. On the one
hand
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, providing
art
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subjects at school increases
students
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' creativity. Unlike subjects that often require memorising facts and following fixed rules,
art
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encourages
students
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to generate original ideas and experiment with different ways of expressing themselves. Learning to write songs or read musical notes allows
students
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to communicate their thoughts and emotions creatively.
In addition
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, giving
students
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the freedom to create their own pieces of work helps them develop independent thinking and avoid producing clichéd ideas.
For example
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, my friend, who started attending music classes at school, became more confident in expressing her ideas and often suggested innovative solutions during group projects.
On the other
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hand
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, drawing enhances
students
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' fine motor skills because it requires precise
hand
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movements and good
hand
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-eye coordination. By controlling the pressure of a pencil and creating detailed shapes,
students
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improve the accuracy and flexibility of their
hand
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movements.
Besides
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that, painting can serve as a form of
art
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therapy, allowing
students
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to express their emotions in a healthy way.
As a result
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, it may help them cope with anxiety and stress, thereby improving their
overall
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mental well-being. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
art
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subjects should be included in school curricula. Not only do they foster creativity and independent thinking, but they
also
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contribute to
students
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' physical and emotional development by improving fine motor skills and supporting their mental well-being.
Therefore
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,
art
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education is an essential component of a well-rounded education.

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task response
Add one more clear example in the second body part.
task response
Keep your main idea close to the art subjects in the task. You wrote about drawing and painting, but the task names music, drama, and creative writing.
task response
Explain a little more how each example proves your point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some are good, but a few feel a bit forced.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body part has one clear main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word choice problems like 'its studying program' and 'read musical notes' if the meaning is not exact.
task response
You clearly answer the question and give your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a good ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
task response
You give one personal example, which helps your argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Curricula
  • Foster creativity
  • Emotional development
  • Cultural awareness
  • Global citizenship
  • Historical perspectives
  • Enhance academic performance
  • Communication
  • Employability
  • Soft skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Mental health
  • Stress reduction
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Diverse cultures
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Self-expression
  • Holistic education
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