IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that the fashion industry is bad for the environment, as it encourages consumers to buy new clothes all the time. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

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The issue of whether the
fashion
Use synonyms
 idustry pollute the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 by appealling pepople to purchase the newest
clothes
Use synonyms
 has generated considerable debate in recent years.Which some peeple agree that
Use synonyms
fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
show examples
 industry contribute significanylt to the enviromental
pollution
Use synonyms
 by attracting people to buy the latest
clothes
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
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I believe that
customers
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 who love buying new
clothes
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also
Linking Words
 play an important role in
damage
Wrong verb form
damaging
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 the
ecosystem
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. It is true that
Use synonyms
fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
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 industry produce tremondous toxic
pollution
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while
Linking Words
 making products.And lots of resources are wasted when they make productions.
However
Linking Words
,the industry may be one of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for environmental damage
,
Punctuation problem
;
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the
customers
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 are largely responsible for
ecosystem
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pollution
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,too.
Customers
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' requirements lead to the factories' production,if
customers
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are
Verb problem
apply
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prefer wearing
clothes
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 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 time
instead
Linking Words
 of chasing
fashion
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trend
Check wording
trends
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,there will be less
pollution
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. Even if
fashion
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 trend has an enormous impact on
human
Check wording
humans
show examples
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, people's
shoppong preferrence
Correct your spelling
shopping preferences
also
Linking Words
influences
Correct subject-verb agreement
influence
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 factory
productions
Check wording
production
show examples
.The newest fashionable tendency attract peple to purchase new
clothes
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 and throw away the old
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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.
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
A huge amount of waste is generated because both
customers
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 and factories
reagard
Correct your spelling
regard
 the old-seasoned
clothes
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 as rubbish.What's more,extra resources are needed to deal with
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 rubbish to avoid more toxic
pollution
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
show examples
 idustry damage the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,
humans'
Check wording
human
show examples
 behaviour
also
Linking Words
 has
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative
influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
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 on the
ecosystem
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.Only if
evreyone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 promotes their awareness of protecting the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,will the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
 be preserved in the future.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly how much you agree, and keep this same view in all body parts.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your main ideas. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain why the fashion industry harms the earth, and why buyers also share blame.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: introduction, one body part about industry, one body part about buyers, then conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'because', 'for example', and 'so'.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Shorter sentences will make your meaning clearer.
task response
You answer the main topic and give your own view.
task response
You include both sides of the issue, which shows balanced thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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