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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of businesses in the UK who had a social media presence.

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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of businesses in the UK who had a social media presence.
The bar chart shows how many
businesses
Use synonyms
 used social
media
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in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2012-2016. The data are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
,
summarizing
Change the spelling
summarising
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 the data from all the
timeline
Fix the agreement mistake
timelines
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, it can be seen that large
businesses
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 used social
media
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 more than small or
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medium
Check wording
medium-sized businesses
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, in 2016, social
media
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 were the most common,
while
Linking Words
 in 2015, they were used less than in any other year in all three types of business. Moving to a more detailed analysis, in 2012, small
businesses
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 remained only 28 per
cent
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,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
medium
Check wording
medium-sized businesses
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 had nearly 31 per
cent
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. The same is true for small and
medium
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businesses
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 in
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
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 with 30 per
cent
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. Surprisingly,
medium
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business
Check wording
businesses
show examples
 increased
of
Change preposition
by
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 nearly 48 per
cent
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 in both 2013 and 2014. In comparison, 30 per
cent
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 of small
businees
Correct your spelling
businesses
 used social
media
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 in 2013,
while
Linking Words
 in 2014,
this
Linking Words
 number rose slightly to 35 per
cent
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, during
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
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 both small
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medium
Correct word choice
and medium
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businesses
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 held approximately 50 per
cent
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. In terms of large businessed it can be seen
nearly
Correct word choice
that nearly
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 78 per
cent
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 from 2012 to 2014,
then
Linking Words
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to 50 per
cent
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 in 2015. Despite
this
Linking Words
 fact, large
businesses
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 ranked first with 79 per
cent
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 in 2016.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words businesses, media, medium, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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