In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

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In different

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

parents

are engaged

Wrong verb form

engage

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

different paid

work

Use synonyms

. Some individuals argue that

this

Linking Words

wrong

Correct article usage

a wrong

show examples

idea,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

others believe it is really good

work

Use synonyms

experience, and they might learn how

taking

Wrong verb form

to take

show examples

responsibility

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Punctuation problem

, why

show examples

why i

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

believe that

children

Use synonyms

can have some benefits from part-time

work

Use synonyms

, if it

not

Verb problem

does not

show examples

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their study process.

Firstly

Linking Words

, part-time

work

Use synonyms

can help people to develop

responsibility

Use synonyms

and independence. Their first job can be really simple,

such

Linking Words

as walking

with

Change preposition

show examples

dog or cleaning

garden

Correct article usage

the garden

show examples

for money. In

this

Linking Words

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

children

Use synonyms

can

acquuire

Correct your spelling

acquire

a significant number of different abilities, including

responsibility

Use synonyms

Children

Use synonyms

can learn how

manage

Verb problem

to manage

show examples

their time and spend

first

Correct determiner usage

their first

show examples

money and understand

value

Correct article usage

the value

show examples

of money; it

even can call

Correct word order

can even be called

show examples

"The first lesson of financial literacy". In that way,

children

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

learn different things.

For example

Linking Words

, if they

work

Use synonyms

with dogs, in the

future

Punctuation problem

future,

show examples

they will be able to take care of dogs better.

On the other hand

Linking Words

work

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

such

Linking Words

young

Correct article usage

a young

show examples

age can create some

difiiculties

Correct your spelling

difficulties

with

study

Replace the word

studying

at school. Even if

Verb problem

it's

show examples

a part-time job, it might take a significant amount of time.

Children

Use synonyms

need

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rest to stay productive and learn subjects in school

powerful

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

, so

this

Linking Words

activity can reduce their

estimates

Check wording

fatigue

show examples

Children

Use synonyms

's psychics may not endure

this

Linking Words

pressure, so parents need

folow

Correct your spelling

to follow

on their rest and

high quality

Correct your spelling

high-quality

sleep. I think

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

that education might be their main priority.

To conclude

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

show examples

believe that

engage

Wrong verb form

engaging

show examples

kids

Change preposition

show examples

paid

work

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some benefits and harm effect; they can develop

responsibility

Use synonyms

and independence and might learn how

manage

Verb problem

to manage

show examples

their finances and time.

However

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

work

Use synonyms

can create some difficulties with study, and

tire

Change the spelling

tyre

show examples

children

Use synonyms

bogdana19052006

Jun 17, 2026

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task response

Give your opinion in a more clear way in the introduction. Say exactly what you think from the start.

task response

Answer all parts of the question fully. You talk about both sides, but your own opinion should be stronger and more direct.

task response

Use more clear main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph should have one main point.

task response

Add one more specific example to support your ideas. This will make your answer stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good. Keep this structure.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more carefully. Some links are good, like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand', but a few ideas are still hard to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Make your sentences connect in a smoother way. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to the next.

coherence and cohesion

Develop each point a bit more before moving to the next one.

task response

You answer the topic and discuss both sides of the issue.

task response

Your opinion is present, especially in the conclusion.

task response

You include examples like dog walking and garden cleaning, which help your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Paragraphing is clear and easy to see.

coherence and cohesion

Some linking words help guide the reader through the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Child labor
Exploitation
Minimum age
Work experience
Survival
Taking responsibility
Education
Poverty
Legal restrictions
Physical toll
Psychological impact
Cultural perceptions
International conventions
Economic impact
Work-study programs
Skilled labor
Unskilled labor
Developing economies
Moral implications
Professional development

What to do next:

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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are becoming less popular than in the past. Do you agree or disagree? What can parents and teachers do about this?

Some people say it is acceptable to use animals for our benefit, others say it is wrong to exploit them. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Some people think learning history in school is important. Others think learning subjects more relevant to life is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.