Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

In the modern

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

people without a large sum of

sum

Check wording

money

show examples

child

Use synonyms

have been better prepare with dealing with the

problems

Punctuation problem

problems,

show examples

while

Linking Words

child

Use synonyms

upbringing on a wealthy family are not well

prepare

Replace the word

prepared

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement as my belief is that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

status of the family is not the primary reason to

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

prepare

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

a child

show examples

to solve problems. The two

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

that help are through the

experience

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

and a

person

Check wording

person's

show examples

mentality

Use synonyms

in the situation.

Firstly

Linking Words

life

Use synonyms

experience

Use synonyms

prepare

Correct subject-verb agreement

prepares

show examples

child

Use synonyms

to solve the

issue

Use synonyms

through

Fix capitalization

Through

show examples

a bad

Use synonyms

experience

Add a comma

experience,

show examples

child

Use synonyms

can learn their mistake and try not to repeat the same mistakes again. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, if a

child

Use synonyms

has

Use synonyms

face

Wrong verb form

faced

show examples

failure early in their

life

Use synonyms

and learning for that

mistake

Punctuation problem

mistake,

show examples

they resolve the

issue

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

experience

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to solve any problem they

face

Use synonyms

in their

life

Use synonyms

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they are not afraid of their mistakes because they know

Fix the agreement mistake

they

show examples

can be

solve

Wrong verb form

solved

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

strong

Correct article usage

a strong

show examples

mind and willpower can help solve problems. A positive and

never-loss

Replace the word

never-lose

mentality

Use synonyms

of a person can help to fight

again

Change preposition

against

show examples

any

issue

Use synonyms

they

faces

Correct subject-verb agreement

face

show examples

. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

example, a

basket ball

Correct your spelling

basketball

player

name

Wrong verb form

named

show examples

Kobe Bryant has a mamba

mentality

Use synonyms

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

prepare

Correct subject-verb agreement

prepares

show examples

him to play against any player he

Use synonyms

face

Correct subject-verb agreement

faces

show examples

because he has a strong mind

which refuse

Correct subject-verb agreement

that refuses

show examples

to lose.

This

Linking Words

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

him to win multiple championship and in

Correct article usage

show examples

interview he

told

Verb problem

said

show examples

that if you think in your mind you are the

winner

Punctuation problem

winner,

show examples

you can overcome any situation.

As a result

Linking Words

, a strong and positive

metal

Use the right word

mental

show examples

strength of a person

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

them to overcome their problem.

To conclude

Linking Words

status

Correct article usage

the status

show examples

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

does not prepare a

child

Use synonyms

to better

face

Use synonyms

their problem but the

experience

Use synonyms

and the

mentality

Use synonyms

of the

child

Use synonyms

help them solve their

issue

Use synonyms

abhayvaru1426

Jun 18, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer the question more directly in each body paragraph. Keep linking your ideas to children from poor and rich families.

task response

Explain your main ideas more. Some points are clear, but they need deeper support.

task response

Use examples that fit the topic more closely. The Kobe Bryant example is interesting, but it is not strongly linked to family money and child growth.

coherence and cohesion

Make your topic sentences clearer. This will help the reader follow your plan.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words more carefully, like first, second, for example, and therefore.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order and grammar because some parts are hard to follow, and this affects flow.

task response

You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.

task response

You include two main reasons for your opinion: life experience and strong mentality.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You try to use examples to support your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

295 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
You have lost your student identification card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student services. In your letter -advising them of your situation. -explain how this is affecting you. -request a new card. give me bands and oiginal photo transcript
I am writing to request your assistance with renewing my ID card. Last Saturday, I was on the bus , and it was so crowded , and someone took my bag. I have all my personal cards in that bag. Moreover, I already made a complaint about this , but now I do not have any access to the college entrance.
6.5
band
In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?
Nowadays, obesity is ever ever-growing problem for children. Increasing artificial products and having an insufficient diet leads to high-weight children; however, this problem can be solved by training parents as well as having healthy food in the home and school.
6
band
More and more people want to buy clothes, cars, and other items from famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Many people want to buy clothes, cars, and other expensive items from famous brands. The reasons behind this are famous branded products are long-lasting, and these products look expensive. I personally believe that it is a positive development because these products are long-lasting, therefore, people can use these products for a long time, and it is also beneficial for the environment.
7.5
band
Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.
Nowadays, some people argue that maintaining good health through lifestyle choices is more beneficial and have more benefits than drawbacks, relying on medical treatment and that healthcare services should not be operated by profit-making companies. I completely agree with this view and believe that governments play a crucial role in supporting public health.
6.5
band
the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Science is the biggest source of inventions and discoveries from centuries ago until today. The nature of science and discoveries is rooted in the basic human instinct, which is searching for a more convenient way of living. I side with public who believe that the target development of science is to improve the lives of society. This will be proven by discussing how medicines derived from science can help the improvement of health conditions around the world and how the invention of modern technologies brings ease to our everyday life.

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You have lost your student identification card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student services. In your letter -advising them of your situation. -explain how this is affecting you. -request a new card. give me bands and oiginal photo transcript

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars, and other items from famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?