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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is an amazing invention which has changed the world. Many people have made it a big part of life. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet

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The topic of the
internet
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 has been a crucial matter to
people
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 and policymakers.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that
this
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 trend entails various drawbacks, others maintain that it offers
a
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apply
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substantial benefits for
the
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apply
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society. In
this
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 essay, I will explore both perspectives and provide an analytical overview of the situation. On the one hand, the
internet
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 has generated significant pros among stakeholders and the public alike. First and foremost, it is an amazing tool for business.
For instance
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,
people
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 use the
internet
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 to purchase and sell things online, which can lead them to get profit out of it.
Additionally
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, the
internet
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 is
a
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apply
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quintessential for research. To illustrate,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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become
Verb problem
has become
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 the most important thing for students and researchers,
if
Correct word choice
when
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 it comes to exploring
for
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apply
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new things and for
the
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apply
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education as well.
Last
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 but not least, the
internet
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 is a tremendous tool for communication.
For example
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, it made the whole world
as
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apply
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a small village.
On the other hand
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,
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as well as
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although
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 it holds a lot of advantages, it
also
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 has drawbacks. Browsing
on
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the
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internet
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 for a long
time
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 may cause health issues.
For example
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, recent studies showed that most cases of low back pain were associated with sitting for a long
time
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 on doom scrolling.
Secondly
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, the
internet
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 may be the first factor blamed for wasting
time
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. Sometimes,
people
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 lose
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time
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apply
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control once they are using social media platforms.
Finally
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, thare are high potential of invading the person's sensitive data by scams and hackers. In conclusion,
although
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 the
internet
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 presents challenges, its influence on contemporary society cannot be ignored. Moving forward, it is essential for individuals to find a balance between the advantages and the potential risks associated with the disadvantages.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more direct way. Say clearly what the good points are and what the bad points are.
task response
Add one more clear idea or example for each main paragraph so your points feel stronger.
task response
Keep your ideas simple and clear. Some lines are hard to understand because of word choice and grammar.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Use easy words like first, also, for example, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each example directly explains the main point before it.
task response
You answered the topic by writing about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support several ideas.
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