Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

In my opinion, the biggest reason of

this

Linking Words

problems is the results of former actions in different

countries

Use synonyms

. What do I mean? Usually,

women

Use synonyms

for some reason are declined in some kinds of work ,

such

Linking Words

as the boss or a high status, for some mysterious reason, but I probably found some

reasons

Use synonyms

for all

this

Linking Words

sexism. First of all, men think that

women

Use synonyms

can’t work with technology, because they think

this

Linking Words

is dangerous, they couldn’t do

this

Linking Words

job properly,

that is

Linking Words

a male job and so on.

Although

Linking Words

that is

Linking Words

absurd, to be honest, because

women

Use synonyms

could have some kind of experience and interest in technique too. In my opinion, men just focus on their bodybuilding

instead

Linking Words

of the process

while

Linking Words

they are working.

Second of all

Replace the word

Secondly

, the

reasons

Use synonyms

from some

countries

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

where

women

Use synonyms

are usually ignored by men. I’m talking about Muslim

countries

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as Iran, Iraq, Syria and more. Usually, in these

Use synonyms

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

they have a rule that makes the man a main member of the family,

while

Linking Words

the woman must be patient and quiet. I guess

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

it can

also

Linking Words

reflect on finding a job or contacts with people outside. Maybe

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

that's

also

Linking Words

why Muslim

women

Use synonyms

hide their hair inside

this

Linking Words

kind of hood, and sometimes even hide their faces.

Overall

Linking Words

, here are two different

reasons

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

why

this

Linking Words

isthis

Correct your spelling

happening. People can prevent these

reasons

Use synonyms

, though.

krisjeffay

Jun 18, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both parts more fully. You talk more about problems, but you do not clearly say what must be done to change the situation.

coherence and cohesion

Use clearer main ideas in each paragraph. Start each body paragraph with one simple point, then explain it.

task response

Give real and careful examples. Some ideas are very general, so your points do not feel strong enough.

coherence and cohesion

Write a stronger ending. Your last line is very short and does not sum up your ideas well.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences jump too fast from one idea to another.

task response

You have a clear opinion from the start.

coherence and cohesion

You use paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.

task response

You try to explain reasons, not only list them.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: say what experience you have ask what the work involves enquire about work conditions
I would like to apply for the position of part-time porter at your hotel, as advertised in ‘The Evening News’ yesterday.
7
band
the plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year
The meticulously detailed architectural plans unveil the current configuration of Southwest Airport and its envisioned metamorphosis upon the culmination of a comprehensive redevelopment project slated for next year. This ambitious initiative prioritizes the significant augmentation of the airport's capacity to seamlessly accommodate a burgeoning volume of passenger traffic.
6.5
band
Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, the ways of teaching and learning are so varied from the previous, so a group of people believe that it is important to teach not only paintings but also drawings in high schools. I subscribe to this idea owing to the fact that some pupils like arts categories also, It usually helps students to have fun times.
6.5
band
With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?
Nowadays, humanity has to face overpopulation and urbanisation of rural areas, which lead to the vanishing of natural beauty spots, because when choosing between some fast income and the heritage of nature, construction companies always choose money. The loss of natural attractions is considered a tremendous issue, nevertheless, some steps can be taken to fix this problem.
6.5
band
You are studying for a qualification, and you would like some time off work to complete it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Ask for some time off to complete a qualification. Suggest what you will do later at work if you have time off. Say how the qualification helps your job or company
I am writing to request time off for a couple of weeks from the 12th of February, 2026, to complete my linguistics training on French, and the exam will be held on February 26th, 2026.

Only 20% of Tech Jobs are Held by Women. What problems do women face that prevent them from getting these jobs and what must be done to change this situation?

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: say what experience you have ask what the work involves enquire about work conditions

the plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centres, many countries their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?