IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people think that those who start a career and keep working in that same field for years are going to have a more satisfying work life than those who keep changing jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, the issue of career changes has sparked considerable debate.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that people keeping pursing career in the same fields tend to have more satisfying work life, I tend to agree that changing jobs at
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
timing
Replace the word
time
 can enrich workers' spiritual and material worlds. First of all, the definition of "a satisfying work life" and "
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 career" has fundamentally changed. In modern society,
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 means more than making a living;
instead
Linking Words
, an increasing number of people value developing growth curves and different
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 at
works
Check wording
work
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in comparison with
As a result
Linking Words
, [broader impact].

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task response
Write a full essay with clear body parts and an end.
task response
Answer the question more fully. Say how far you agree, and keep this clear all through the essay.
task response
Give at least one full example. Your example now is not finished.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea clear, then add support after it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, however, and as a result in a full way.
coherence and cohesion
Do not leave parts like notes or short forms in the essay.
task response
Your start shows the topic clearly.
task response
You give your own view early, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic order: start, main idea, then result.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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