IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that children receive compulsory subjects in local schools, others prefer private schools. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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My viewpoint is based on the Taiwan region. The opponent for local
schools
Use synonyms
 argue that the government usually
spent lots
Wrong verb form
spends a lot
show examples
 of time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children eduction
Check wording
children's education
show examples
. Different from private
schools
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
,
show examples
 local
schools
Use synonyms
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 need
receive
Verb problem
to receive
show examples
 money from their parent ,and usually
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
 only need to pay
few
Correct determiner usage
a little
show examples
 money .The three
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 about local
schools
Use synonyms
 advance
that is
Linking Words
 teacher who
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
show examples
on there can have more power to control the student
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Talking to private
Use synonyms
schools
Punctuation problem
schools,
show examples
 they can get
social
Correct article usage
a social
show examples
 circle on it ,just because in Taiwan
who
Check wording
, students who
show examples
studying
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
 private
schools
Use synonyms
 usually are rich
person's
Check wording
people's
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. The
mainpoint
Correct your spelling
main point
 is you can learn social
abalilty
Correct your spelling
ability
 in private
schools
Use synonyms

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task response
Answer both sides clearly. Now you talk more about schools, but not enough about why some people choose each one.
task response
Give your opinion in a direct way. Write one clear sentence that says which school type you support and why.
task response
Add a short ending. A final sentence can help show your full answer.
coherence and cohesion
Use one main idea in each part. Now some ideas come very fast and are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, but, because, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Support each point with one simple example. For example, say how local schools help save money or how private schools may give more contacts.
task response
You try to compare local schools and private schools.
task response
You use Taiwan as a real place, and that gives your writing a clear setting.
coherence and cohesion
You have some clear points, like cost, rules, and social life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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