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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that schools should focus mainly on academic subjects, such as math and science, because they are essential for students, future success. However, others argue that subjects like art, music, and physical education are equally important for a balanced education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people argue that
schools
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 should concentrate mainly on academic educational
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program
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programs
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 because they are essential for future careers,
while
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 others believe that creative and physical studies are equally important. In my view, a balanced curriculum that includes both academic and non-academic
syllabus
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syllabi
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 is the most effective approach to education. Academic modules
such
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 as math and science play a crucial role in developing logical thinking and problem-solving skills. These
schedule
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schedules
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 form the foundation for many professional fields, including engineering, medicine, and technology. Without strong academic preparation, students may struggle to compete in an increasingly demanding job market.
Therefore
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, it is understandable why some people believe
schools
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 should prioritise these areas.
However
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, educational
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program
Correct subject-verb agreement
programs
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 like art, music, and physical education are equally valuable because they support
entrance’
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entrance’s
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 emotional, social, and physical development. Creative educational
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program
Correct subject-verb agreement
programs
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 encourage imagination, self-expression, and innovation—skills that are essential in modern workplaces. Physical education,
on the other hand
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, promotes teamwork, discipline, and a healthy lifestyle. These modules help
admission
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 manage stress and build confidence, which are just as important as academic achievement.
In addition
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, a curriculum that includes a variety of modules prepares
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admission
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students
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 for a wider range of future opportunities. Not all
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admission
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admissions
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 excel in academic fields; some may discover their talents in sports, art, or music. By offering
diverse
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a diverse
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 syllabus,
schools
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 allow
admission
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 to explore their interests and develop their strengths, leading to a more fulfilling educational experience. In conclusion,
while
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 academic educational
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program
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programs
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 are undeniably important, creative and physical studies
also
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 play a vital role in
recruitment’
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recruitment’s
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overall
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 development.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that
schools
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 should provide a balanced curriculum that supports both intellectual and personal growth, ensuring that every student has the opportunity to succeed.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. You say your view clearly, but you should show more about how far you agree.
task response
Add one or two clear real examples to support your main ideas.
task response
Use clearer and more exact words. Some words are not right, and this makes ideas less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this strong shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas inside each paragraph more smoothly with simple clear words.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with repeated wrong word choices, because they break the flow of reading.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your main idea is easy to follow in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and relevant.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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