Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

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In
this
Linking Words
contemporary world, some believe that they like spending time with their colleagues, whilst others contend that personal life should be kept private.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives
about
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on
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separating professional and personal lives,
along with
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being friends with coworkers. On one hand, when people bond outside their professional
boundries
Correct your spelling
boundaries
, they become a team and communicate better,
due to
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which they are more productive.
This
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means individuals who are friends with their colleagues are more likely to share workloads and achieve their goals.
For example
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, a person who
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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time with their coworker outside the office hours
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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more
likley
Correct your spelling
likely
to share their workload, which improves their mental health.
On the other hand
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, separating personal and professional life gives you
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of

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task response
Write a full ending. Your essay stops in the middle, so the answer feels unfinished.
task response
Discuss both sides in a more equal way. The first side has more detail than the second side.
task response
Add one clear idea for why some people keep work and private life apart.
task response
Use one simple example for each side to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and two body parts, but the last part is not complete.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'in the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and explain it fully before moving on.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence follows the last one in a smooth way.
task response
You clearly show that there are two sides to this topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your first paragraph gives the topic in a clear way.
task response
You use a simple example about work load and mental health.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic paragraph plan, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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