IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All people should go to university, even if they are not going to use that education In their job. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that all
people
Use synonyms
 should go to
university
Use synonyms
, even if they are not going to use that education in their job. I strongly believe that
people
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 should go
th
Correct your spelling
to
 the
universaty beacause
Correct your spelling
university because
 it leads to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 about how to communicate with others and help them to manage their schedule. Learning in
university
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
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can
learn
Verb problem
bring
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 many benefits.
For example
Linking Words
, they will talk with
some
Correct determiner usage
a
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 stranger when they are
in
Change preposition
apply
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first at school or get a team with someone
, who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 they first saw. It
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them communicate with others
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it helps to enhance their verbal skills.
In addition
Linking Words
, in team projects, there will be a presentation in front of
people
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, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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people
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 feel nervous. It will make them
stonger
Correct your spelling
stronger
 even if they are in
other
Correct determiner usage
another
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 situation
feeling
Punctuation problem
, feeling
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 nervous or anxious.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 can be effective
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
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due to
Linking Words
 know about how to handle their
time
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 and
appoinments
Correct your spelling
appointments
. Many
people
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 having hard
time
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to manage
Wrong verb form
managing
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 their
time
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. If
people
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 go to
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university
Punctuation problem
university,
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 they will have a chance every semester to deal with classes, which
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time
Check wording
apply
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they suppose want to.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will support
people
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 knowing better about themselves and as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
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 goes
by
Punctuation problem
by,
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 they will
precious
Verb problem
appreciate
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 the
time
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they will get better than before. For these reasons,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that going to
university
Use synonyms
 will be awesome
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, improving their communication skills and developing
relationship
Check wording
relationships
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 with others.
Therefore
Linking Words
, even if they don't use education in their job,
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gain lots of things in their lives.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. You agree, but you should also explain why some people may not need university, then show why your view is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph can be about communication skills, and one can be about time management, with a clear topic sentence.
task response
Add more specific examples. For example, give one real case of a student who learns to speak in a group or manage many classes and deadlines.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, for example, because, as a result, and finally.
task response
Develop each point more. Do not only say university is good; explain how and why it helps people in life, even outside work.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with paragraph flow. Some sentences are hard to follow, so try to put one idea after another in a simple order.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
The main ideas are relevant to the topic, especially communication and time management.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words such as for example, in addition, furthermore, and therefore.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • practical skills
  • book learning
  • on-the-job training
  • training center
  • waste of time
  • waste of money
  • different interests
  • life plans
  • learn by doing
  • force everyone
  • skilled worker
  • degree
  • graduate
  • equal respect
  • personal growth
  • clear thinking
  • job market
  • career path
  • higher education
  • make a choice
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