Percentages of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features. Summarize the table.

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The table gives information about the percentages of mobile phone owners using mobile phone features in 2006, 2008, and 2010.
Overall
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, it is evident that making calls accounted for the largest proportion of users in all three years.
Moreover
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, the percentage of mobile phone owners using other features increased, with substantial growth in recording
video
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. In 2006, making calls registered the highest figure at 100%, followed by sending and receiving text messages and taking photos at 73% and 66%. Meanwhile, playing games and playing music demonstrated the lowest shares of users, standing at 17% and 12%.
In addition
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, there was no detailed information about the proportion of mobile owners browsing the internet and recording
video
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. In 2008, making calls remained stable at 100%,
while
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the figure for sending and receiving texts increased slightly to 75%.
Similarly
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, the share of taking photos experienced a moderate rise, reaching 42%.
By contrast
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, the percentage of playing games grew considerably to 42%,
whereas
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playing music increased significantly to 18%. At that time, searching the internet and recording
video
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accounted for 41% and 9%. By 2010, making calls had reduced slightly to 99%,
while
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it remained the largest proportion of users.
Similarly
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, playing music declined to 41%.
However
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, taking photos and sending and receiving demonstrated a rise, reaching 76% and 79%.
Moreover
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, searching the internet and recording
video
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showed a considerable rise, reaching 73% and 35%. Meanwhile, playing games represented moderate growth, reaching 26%.

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task response
Check all numbers very carefully. Some data are wrong, so this hurts task response.
task response
Write the main trends in a more exact way. Do not say a feature went up if the table shows it went down.
task response
Add all key comparisons. Show which features changed most and which changed least.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, overview, and body, so the order is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. 'Similarly' and 'however' should match the real idea in the data.
coherence and cohesion
Group data in a better way. Put similar rising features together and low features together.
task response
You gave a clear overview with the main idea about calls and growth in other features.
task response
You used many numbers from the table to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is split into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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