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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Percentages of mobile phone owners using various mobile phone features. Summarize the table.

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The given table illustrates the proportion of the usage of seven phone features in 2006,2008,and 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, the most used features over the year
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 making calls
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 recording and playing music
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest. The calling feature is ranked as the highest method, the numbers in 2006 and 2008 recorded 100%
after
Punctuation problem
, after
show examples
 that in 2010,had a
slightly decreased
Replace the word
slight decrease
 by 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,Taking photo increased over the years
starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
show examples
 from 66%
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 76% by the end of the given year.The number of people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 massages, which ranked as the second most
features used
Correct word order
used feature
show examples
,
are acoounted
Verb problem
accounted
show examples
 for 73% at the beginning and
then
Linking Words
 rose to around 79%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least methods used were in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of playing music and recording videos,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 they experienced a growth over the years
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 about 26 and 35
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples

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task response
Add more key data from the table. Some features are missing, so the summary feels a bit short.
task response
Write the overview more clearly. Say which features were highest, lowest, and which ones went up the most.
task response
Use more correct comparisons, such as 'higher than', 'lower than', and 'rose from ... to ...'.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas into clear groups. For example, first write about the most used features, then the least used ones.
coherence and cohesion
Link sentences with simple words like 'while', 'in contrast', 'also', and 'by 2010' in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and punctuation. Some long sentences are hard to follow.
task response
You gave an overview, which is very important in Task 1.
task response
You used some key numbers from the table to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning and body.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to compare features across the years.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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