IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Environmental problems such as climate change and pollution affect everyone around the world. Although efforts to tackle these problems are made on a global-scale, few solutions can be found. Why are so few solutions taken? How can these problems be solved?

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While
Linking Words
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 has been confronted with serious problems that
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 people to handle immediately, many human attempts are likely to be superficial.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon stems from the soaring population
as well as
Linking Words
over-relying
Replace the word
over-reliance
 on non-renewable sources. Personally, I contend that both government and individuals must take a personal stake in tackling environmental problems. One primary reason for
this
Linking Words
 problem is
steep
Correct article usage
the steep
show examples
extending
Replace the word
increase
 in
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 population.
Due to
Linking Words
 creating more livable
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, the birth rate has soared in recent years,
even leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 myriad of
over-crowed
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
 cities
on over
Change preposition
around
show examples
 the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 the number of citizens, the overconsumption laterally
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the waste pollution
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 adversely
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 one report, the United States
has
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
produced 42 million metric tons of plastic waste by
2021
Punctuation problem
2021,
show examples
 that takes an alert into account to government and citizens about
minimizing
Change the spelling
minimising
show examples
 consumption and waste pollution.
Moreover
Linking Words
, facilitating the industrial era is likely to come at
expense
Correct article usage
the expense
show examples
 of compromising the
environment
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, non-renewable resources still play a pivotal role in manufacturing and require
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 colossal
number
Check wording
amount
show examples
 of
supplications
Check wording
supplies
show examples
. Unfortunately, these resources are limited
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the industrial activities can significantly release emission which contributes to environmental problems.
As a result
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 has
conducted
Verb problem
implemented
show examples
 many solutions to handle
this
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 development, the demands of society have hindered the efficiency. To combat
this
Linking Words
 development, personally, I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 is not only the government’s matter, but
also
Linking Words
 each
individuals’ one
Fix the agreement mistake
individual’s
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the government’s side, they have to fiercely enforce initiatives to diminish the
over reliance
Correct your spelling
over-reliance
 on fossil
fuel
Check wording
fuels
show examples
 and
incentivize
Change the spelling
incentivise
show examples
 businesses to adopt cleaner resources.
For instance
Linking Words
, Costa Rica has generated the vast majority of
electricity
Correct determiner usage
its electricity
show examples
 from renewable sources for many years. Its success demonstrates that alternative energy can
reliable
Replace the word
reliably
 meet national demand without compromising the
environment
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
individuals’
Check wording
individual’s
show examples
 side, I think that each of citizens have to raise their awareness of environmental issues in order to take a personal stake in protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, they can
changing
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 their habits of using plastic
productions
Use the right word
products
show examples
 or
cutting
Wrong verb form
cut
show examples
 down
an
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 amount of electricity.
Although
Linking Words
 it is just the simplest and smallest thing,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it will be cumulatively effective if we do it daily. In conclusion,
due to
Linking Words
 the elevation of population and the demands for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrial activities, many environmental solutions
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been inhibited.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that we can tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem with the cooperation between authorities and individuals in order to make a comprehensive solution to enhance the
environment
Use synonyms
 and our living
condition
Check wording
conditions
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly. Say clearly why few solutions are taken, and then say clearly how to solve the problems.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas easier to follow. Use one clear idea in each paragraph and explain it step by step.
task response
Some examples help, but some points are too general. Add one more clear example or result for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, as a result, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your second body paragraph gives solutions, but make the link to the question stronger at the start of the paragraph.
task response
You answer both parts of the question, with reasons and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use real-world examples like the United States and Costa Rica.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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