Some people think that it is the responsibility of the government of the country to ensure a healthy lifestyle for its people, while others believe that individuals should be free to make decisions for their lifestyles. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is an ongoing debate about
people
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's
lifestyles
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, with some arguing that policymakers should encourage individuals to adopt healthier
lifestyles
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,
while
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others believe that
people
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should decide freely about their
lifestyles
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.
However
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, I believe that policymakers and
people
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should share the responsibility to achieve long-term outcomes. Supporters of the role of lawmakers claim that
governments
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should implement effective measures which contribute significantly to improving
people
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's understanding of healthier
lifestyles
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, mainly because
this
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can lead to improving public health and reducing the likelihood of illnesses, which place significant pressure on government budgets.
As a result
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, these measures enhance the quality of life in society.
For instance
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, raising awareness of the adverse effects of a sedentary lifestyle can encourage
people
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to take part in physical
activities
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which
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, which
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have positive impacts on
people
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's
overall
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well-being and improve living standards.
Hence
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,
governments
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can play a vital role in helping
people
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make informed decisions about their
lifestyles
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.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that
people
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should be free to opt for a lifestyle
that is
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suitable for them, as
this
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enables individuals to evaluate their living conditions and choose the best option for themselves. Thereby, they can plan their
lives
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and participate in various
activities
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which bring a great deal of happiness and positive energy into their
lives
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. As an example, some prefer going to the gym every day,
while
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others prefer exploring nature by participating in hiking. Both
activities
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allow participants to maintain their fitness and make them feel energetic and relaxed, resulting in a healthier lifestyle and long-term benefits.
This
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ultimately enables individuals to choose
activities
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and plan their
lives
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according to
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their abilities and schedules, which contributes to enhanced standards of living.
However
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, from my perspective,
governments
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should provide citizens with detailed information about various
lifestyles
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, and
people
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should
also
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prioritize
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prioritise
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lifestyles
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which greatly help them improve their health and ensure permanent results.
To sum up
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,
while
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governments
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should motivate
people
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to select healthy
lifestyles
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,
people
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should
also
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have the autonomy to opt for
lifestyles
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that match their daily
lives
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and bring about positive changes to their
lives
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.

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task response
For task response, your opinion is clear, but make it stronger in the body too, not only in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
For task response, add one more clear reason for your own view, so your answer feels more full.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant, but they are quite general. Add a more specific example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and paragraphing is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linking words are used well, but a few feel repeated or a little forced. Use simpler links at times.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are long. A few shorter sentences can make your meaning even clearer.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • healthy lifestyle
  • public health
  • take responsibility
  • personal choice
  • free to decide
  • make healthy choices
  • low-cost health care
  • safe roads
  • food quality
  • clear food labels
  • high tax on cigarettes
  • limit alcohol ads
  • government control
  • individual freedom
  • daily habits
  • balanced diet
  • regular exercise
  • mental health
  • public services
  • long-lasting change
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