IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant band 7.5

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The line graph illustrates information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 who took part in five various activities at a social centre in Melbourne, Australia, between 2000
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the film club consistently attracted the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
participants
Use synonyms
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, amateur dramatics experienced a significant decline and became the least popular activity by 2020. Table tennis showed the most remarkable growth,
while
Linking Words
 musical performance gained popularity after being introduced later in the
period
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the film club had approximately 64
participants
Use synonyms
, making it the most popular activity.
Although
Linking Words
 its figure fell slightly to 60 in 2020, it recovered gradually and reached around 66
participants
Use synonyms
 by 2020. Martial arts fluctuated moderately over the
period
Use synonyms
, decreasing from 36
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000 to 32 in 2005, before
raising
Verb problem
rising
show examples
 to 38 in 2010 and ending at about 36 in 2020. Table tennis experienced substantial growth. Starting with only 16
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2000, the
number
Use synonyms
 increased steadily to 20 in 2005 and 2010,
then
Linking Words
 rose sharply to 35 in 2015 and 54 by 2020, making it the second most popular activity.
By comparison
Linking Words
, amateur dramatics followed the opposite trend. After peaking at 28
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2005,
its
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 declined continuously to just 6 by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
. Musical performances had no
participants
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2005, but participation increased to 12 in 2010 and continued to rise gradually, reaching 18
participants
Use synonyms
 in 2020.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, participants, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: