IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Fresh water has always been a limited resources in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, and what measures can government and individuals take to respond to this problem.

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Currently, fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is out of reach for certain parts of the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the global problem is caused by increasing demand for it. The major causes can be
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
 population with
water
Use synonyms
 needs and excessive usage of
water
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 I believe reducing
water
Use synonyms
 waste can be
handles
Wrong verb form
handled
show examples
 by raising the price of
it
Correct pronoun usage
water
show examples
 in some countries. It is impossible to ignore that some
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering from the
draught
Use the right word
drought
show examples
 and in worst cases it ends up with loss of many lives. As many know
that
Correct word choice
,
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is a gift that human beings can not
pull through
Verb problem
live
show examples
 without. I think the reason is overpopulation,
due to
Linking Words
that now many countries are
Correct word order
which many countries are now
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 experiencing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of fresh
water
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 do not notice the fact
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 are using
water
Use synonyms
 excessively
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it leads to
water
Use synonyms
 draught overtime.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government is searching
ways
Change preposition
for ways
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reduce
water
Use synonyms
 loss by trying many methods. I strongly believe it is still possible to save fresh
water
Use synonyms
 by
increased price of it
Correct word order
increasing its price
show examples
 for inhabitants.
People
Use synonyms
 do not notice that they are wasting
water
Use synonyms
 unless they pay for it. If the cost were higher,
people
Use synonyms
 would think of their money and cease using
water
Use synonyms
 for unnecessary reasons.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
 are limited from fresh
water
Use synonyms
 because of the growing demand.
This
Linking Words
 is the outcome of the increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 and
overuse
Correct article usage
the overuse
show examples

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about causes and one government step, but you say little about what people can do by themselves.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Develop each main idea more. For example, explain how population growth raises water use in homes, farms, and cities.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking between ideas. Some sentences jump fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main focus. One paragraph for causes, one for solutions is good, but each needs fuller support.
coherence and cohesion
Finish the conclusion with a full final thought. Your last line ends too early and feels incomplete.
task response
You clearly introduce the topic and your main causes at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple overall shape: introduction, body, body, conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the question and stay on topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • growing worldwide demand
  • industrial growth
  • water-intensive crops
  • prolonged droughts
  • usable water
  • water conservation
  • water efficiency
  • infrastructure
  • fixing leaks
  • water-efficient appliances
  • water waste
  • renewable energy sources
  • water footprint
  • transboundary water basins
  • water-stressed regions
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