IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Topic: modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
New communication technological methods
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become popular in
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
 era. The question of whether these methods will have detrimental impacts on our
live
Replace the word
lives
. I firmly disagree,
although
Linking Words
 technological ways will reduce face-to-face
communicating
Replace the word
communication
.
Technology
Use synonyms
 is playing a vital role nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 changed their forms to communicat, people have replaced old methods
such
Linking Words
 as mail or even meeting in real live to being rely on
technology
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
istagram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
 and
facebook
Fix capitalization
Facebook
show examples
 are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 the most used way of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people are becoming busier than in the past
,
Correct word order
; consequently,
show examples
consequently
Linking Words
 they do not have plenty of time to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
meeting their friends or family.
whereas
Linking Words
 it
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 us to save our time and invest it in something more beneficial.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we must have
a balanced
Replace the word
balance
while
Linking Words
 we use
technology
Use synonyms
, because to be completely dependent on social media
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 and
destroyed
Wrong verb form
destroy
show examples
 the
relations
Check wording
relationships
show examples
 between
.
Correct pronoun usage
us.
show examples
For instance
Linking Words
, if you stay in touch with people just in new media that may reduce your communication skills. In
conclousion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
Linking Words
 new forms will reduce our relations.
However
Linking Words
, it
return
Correct subject-verb agreement
returns
show examples
 to us with more benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly why you disagree, and show this in each body part.
task response
Use ideas that are more clear and more full. Some points are too short, so the reader wants more detail.
task response
Give examples that are more specific. For example, say how people use email or messages to keep close friends.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea at the start of each body part very clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts are hard to follow now.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the first part: you disagree.
task response
You use one example about Instagram and Facebook.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like moreover, on the other hand, and for instance.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: