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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People
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 have different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 about whether
university
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education
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 should be free or not. Some individuals think that every student should
has
Wrong verb form
have
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 access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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education
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 and the government should cover all expenses. I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, and think that
students
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 have the right to
study
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, but I don't think that everyone should be helped. On the one hand, offering free
education
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 and access to
university
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 knowledge motivates
people
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 to
get studied
Wrong verb form
study
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 well and get higher
education
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.
Education
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 is a powerful tool that can lift
people
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 out of poverty and give them a chance to make their own
life
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lives
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.
Moreover
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, there are a lot of
high
Rephrase
highly
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 gifted
students
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 that dont have
money
Correct article usage
the money
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 to pay for
education
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.
As a result
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,
Linking Words
this kind
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these kinds
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 of
people
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 just become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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simple workers
on
Change preposition
in
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 fabrics and factories, losing their chances for
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 life.
For example
Linking Words
, if more
people
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 become educated, the percentage of unemployed will decrease
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the country and its residents will develop rapidly. On the other
perspective
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hand
show examples
, giving these
kind
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kinds
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 of facilities
for
Change preposition
to
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 everyone makes it too easy to go to the
university
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. Even the worst student gets
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 chance to go to the
university
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will be unfair for the
students
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 who tried hard for
this
Linking Words
 chance.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
 devalues ​​the work of universities, since everyone could get an
education
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 there.
For instance
Linking Words
,
students
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 who learned all
material
Correct article usage
the material
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, passed all
exams
Correct article usage
the exams
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 and deserved to
study
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 in the
university
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 will
study
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 with the
students
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 didnt do anything, but
government
Correct article usage
the government
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payed
Correct your spelling
paid
 for
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
education
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. In conclusion
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 all
students
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deserves
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserve
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 to get
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education
Correct article usage
an education
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 and make their life better, even if they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough money,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should help them to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
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 their dreams come true.
However
Linking Words
, it shouldn't be able for all
students
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they should present results and prove that they deserve to
study
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 for free.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same in all parts.
task response
Answer all parts of the question in a full way and explain why you partly agree.
task response
Use more clear and real examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with clear words like on the one hand, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each paragraph has one main idea and that all sentences support it.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last paragraph a full conclusion with a clear final answer.
task response
You give both sides and show your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a clear order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • Accessibility
  • Social mobility
  • Meritocracy
  • Economic growth
  • Equality
  • Subsidize
  • Fiscal sustainability
  • Human capital
  • Incentivize
  • Underfunded
  • Tuition fees
  • Academic achievement
  • Workforce
  • Tax burden
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