IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below give information about world population in 1900 and 2000.

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The provided pie charts illustrate data about the
world
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 for 1900 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data shows
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 spent
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 percentage
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other features than food, clothing, housing, and transport. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable
Asia
Correct word choice
that Asia
show examples
 became one of the huge
world
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 compare to Europe,
Americas
Correct article usage
the Americas
show examples
, Africa, and others.
While
Linking Words
 spending
for Clothing
Change preposition
on clothing
show examples
 and Other
world
Use synonyms
population
Use synonyms
 record the lowest values, the other categories display
contrasted
Replace the word
a contrasting
 pattern
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 matter.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, Food became the second
higher
Replace the word
highest
 spending with 24%.
In addition
Linking Words
, Transport
sit
Correct subject-verb agreement
sits
show examples
 after Food with 18% of the whole spent,
then
Linking Words
 Housing
considered
Verb problem
is considered
show examples
 with only 12%.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 one is Clothing which covered only 6%.
This
Linking Words
 provides a pattern that each subcategory
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 different
than
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the other by
rate
Correct article usage
a rate
show examples
 of 6%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
not
Verb problem
does not
show examples
 cover the Others as it
id
Correct your spelling
is
 the highest value
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 40%.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, Europe and
Americas
Correct article usage
the Americas
show examples
 had the same value of 14%, that’s mean 28% of the
population
Use synonyms
. Africa
is
Verb problem
contains
show examples
 only contained 10%
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 higher than the Other by 5
percantegas
Correct your spelling
per cent
. So as discussed before
Asia
Punctuation problem
, Asia
show examples
is take
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 the majority of the
population
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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