Some people believe that children should have mobile phones at an early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the issue of
children
Use synonyms
with
phons
Correct your spelling
phones
has become a matter of considerable debate.
While
Linking Words
some people believe that
children
Use synonyms
should not have
phones
Use synonyms
, others argue that
children
Use synonyms
should have
phones
Use synonyms
.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining my opinion. On the one hand, supporters of
phones
Use synonyms
claim that
phones
Use synonyms
become huge
pars
Correct your spelling
parts
of our lives and by not giving them
phones
Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
, this
show examples
will isolate them .
This
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is mainly because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
have
phones
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, in school
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
one child
dosenot
Correct your spelling
does not
have
Correct article usage
a phone
show examples
phone
Punctuation problem
phone,
show examples
that makes him an easy victim for bullying .
Consequently
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, affecting the
child
Check wording
child's
show examples
mental health and education.
On the other hand
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, those who oppose
this
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view argue that
phons affect
Correct word order
phones affect children's
show examples
children
Use synonyms
social life . One significant reason is that
chlidern
Correct your spelling
children
use their phone all the
time
Punctuation problem
time,
show examples
witch affect their social life .
For instance
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,
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
his phone all the time at school .
Therefore
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, he will
end-up
Correct your spelling
end up
with no friends . In conclusion,
although
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both viewpoints have their own merits, I believe that
phones
Use synonyms
are important and we should allow them to use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them,
show examples
but with rules . In my view, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree from the start.
task response
Give stronger main ideas. Some ideas are too short and not fully explained.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and clear. Your school example is related, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear idea in each body paragraph, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like 'first', 'for example', 'however', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear essay shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic, which helps answer the task.
task response
You try to use examples to support your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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