IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that individuals and society would benefit if employees had only six hours to work daily. Others disagree with this. What is your opinion?

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Nowadays, one of the most controversial
isues
Correct your spelling
issues
 related to working
hours
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, where one side of society believes that a 6-hour workday can be more beneficial,
while
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 the other side disagrees with
this
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 suggestion. I partly agree with
this
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 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 my opinion will be examined in the following lines. On the one hand, there are
workers
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 who claim that working 6
hours
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 a day will have advantages
on
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in
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 their personal and professional lives. Shorter working
hours
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 may increase productivity because
workers
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 can focus better on their responsibilities and carry out the tasks completely for a limited
time
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, making fewer mistakes, and using the given
time
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 more properly.
Moreover
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, a six-hour workday can improve
workers
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' health as they have enough
time
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 to rest, sleep, and
for
Verb problem
spend time with
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 their family, which will lead to a reduction in stress during working
hours
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.
However
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, not all jobs can move easily to six
hours
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 a day. Hospitals, transport, police, and customer service often need people for long
hours
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, so companies may need more staff and higher costs may appear. Another key point
of
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is
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 that the current 8-hour working regime gives
workers
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opportunity
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the opportunity
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 to get
higher
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a higher
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 salary and provide their families with the necessary needs.
For example
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, if an employee has to work 6
hours
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 a shift,
then
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 in order to get his previous money, he will have to go to work more often. In conclusion, I tend to believe that a six-hour working day can have useful sides
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such
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, such
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 as more free
time
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 for their personal needs or
increase
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increased
 working skills and
workers
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' efficiency.
Hence
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, it can be inconvenient
in earning
Wrong verb form
to earn
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 enough for living.

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task response
Make your opinion more clear from start to end. You say you partly agree, but the last part sounds a bit mixed.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your main ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Explain your ideas a little more deeply. Some points are good, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts connect well, but a few sentences feel a bit sudden.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar in some lines, because small errors make the flow less smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each body paragraph in a more balanced way, with one main idea and clear support.
task response
Your essay answers the question and gives a clear position.
task response
You include both sides of the topic, which helps show a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • stress
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • focus
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • free time
  • family life
  • community
  • flexible system
  • staff costs
  • shift work
  • public services
  • burnout
  • well-being
  • output
  • work schedule
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