Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowsdays schools become competitive for children.I think sometimes it must be challenging to filter good

students

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and make bad

students

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work

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hard more

Replace the word

harder

.In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will discuss the impact of the competitive

environment

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childrrens

Correct your spelling

children

. First,many

students

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get stressed out due

hard

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to hard

show examples

work

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school

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and

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, and

show examples

the competitive

environment

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make

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makes

show examples

them

fatigue

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fatigued

and sad .

Second,

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lots of parents push their

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

to be as good as

posible

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possible

without considering their energy or their

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

there

Capitalize the proper name

There

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

recent research

tells

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that tells

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that

the

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show examples

high percentage of children

that

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who

show examples

commit

sucide

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suicide

is because of the competitive

environment

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school

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On the other hand

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, when schools be competetive make

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childrens

Replace the word

children

work

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hard and encourage

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them to

show examples

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their goals and be disciplened

therefore

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they succeed in their studies .

Moreover

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, the competitive

environment

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school

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filters the

students

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and

make

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makes

show examples

the society only for

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

and clever

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

For example

Linking Words

, for some

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students

Punctuation problem

students,

show examples

when the studies get

hard

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hard,

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they usually drop out or fail

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. However,

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however

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the good student will

niver

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never

give up

and

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, and

show examples

this

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case

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case,

show examples

let's have Albert

Einestin

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Einstein

as an example

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. He

show examples

studied in competetive

school

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, he failed and got kicked out althought he never

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

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. He

show examples

studied and

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work

Wrong verb form

worked

show examples

hard to be now the best

knwon physcian

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known physicist

who has

mades

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made

tons of scientific theories which is used

till now

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today

and

thats

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that's

the real effect of the competitive

environment

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. In

conlusion

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conclusion

competive

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competitive

schools may has negative effect on children and harm them

but

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, but

show examples

lets

Wrong verb form

let's

show examples

look to the bright side

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, it

show examples

makes

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childrens

Correct your spelling

children

more successful and powerful and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

legends back

then

Linking Words

raedcherif98

Jun 23, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides in a more equal way. The bad side is clear, but the good side needs more careful support.

task response

Give your opinion in a clear way from the start and keep it the same to the end.

task response

Use examples that are real and fit the point well. The example about Einstein does not fully match school life now.

task response

Add one more clear idea for each side, then explain it with one simple reason or result.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph stay on one main idea. Some lines move too fast from one point to another.

coherence and cohesion

Use simple link words well, like First, Also, On the other hand, and In conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Check sentence order. Some ideas are hard to follow because grammar and word form make the meaning less clear.

task response

You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.

task response

You give your own opinion in the end.

coherence and cohesion

You use a paragraph for each side, which helps the reader follow your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

You have both an introduction and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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