IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The plans illustrate how Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 has changed since it first opened in 1920.
Overall
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, the
park
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 has undergone significant redevelopment. Several original features were removed or replaced, and a number of modern facilities have been added.
In particular
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, the entertainment area has been enlarged,
while
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 the eastern
side
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 of the
park
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 has been transformed considerably. In 1920, Grange
Park
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 had two entrances, one from Arnold Avenue to the north and the other from Eldon Street to the south. On the western
side
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 of the
park
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, there was a stage for musicians, with two rose gardens located in the northwest and southwest corners. In the centre stood a fountain,
while
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 on the eastern
Use synonyms
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 there was a pond for water plants in the northeast corner and a glasshouse in the southeast.
In addition
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, seats were placed around the edges of the
park
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. Today, the stage has been replaced by a much larger amphitheatre for concerts on the western
side
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,
while
Linking Words
 the rose garden in the southwest corner has been removed. In the centre of the
park
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, the fountain has made way for a rose garden surrounded by seating. On the eastern
side
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, the pond has been turned into a water feature, and the glasshouse has been replaced by a café and a children’s play area.
Finally
Linking Words
, a new entrance to an underground car
park
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 has been added in the southeast corner.

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task response
For task response: You did well, but you can add one or two more small details from the map to make the report even more full.
task response
For task response: Your overview is clear. Keep making the biggest changes stand out first, as you did here.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay is easy to follow. To make it even better, you can use a few more linking words like 'meanwhile' or 'by contrast' where fit.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The order is good. You move from one side of the park to the other in a clear way. Keep this strong plan.
task response
Task response: You covered the main changes in the park and made clear comparisons between 1920 and today.
task response
Task response: Your overview clearly shows the biggest changes, such as the larger entertainment area and the change on the east side.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a clear paragraph plan with an introduction, an overview, and detail paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use clear place words like 'western side', 'in the centre', and 'eastern side', so the reader can follow easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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