IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some individuals believe that companies should be legally required to provide employees with a four-day work week. Why is this being suggested? Do you think this would be a good idea for the global economy?

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In contemporary
society
Add a comma
society,
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 some people think that corporations should be legally required to
contribute
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 workers with a four-day
work
Use synonyms
week
Use synonyms
. It is being offered mainly because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 effectiveness of employees
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I believe that it would
be
Correct word order
also be
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also
Linking Words
 a fundamental decision for developing
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 economy. The main reason for
such
Linking Words
 a request is rising a productivity of workers. They would get enough
days
Use synonyms
 off to relax after busy
days
Use synonyms
, which
also
Linking Words
 prevents mental diseases like burning out or
exhausting
Replace the word
exhaustion
. Burning out,
for example
Linking Words
, a widespread problem among individuals. When they do
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 tasks every
Use synonyms
week
Check wording
weekday
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days
Use synonyms
, they will get tired of doing
this
Linking Words
 job and lose their
encouragement
Check wording
motivation
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 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, their productivity directly influences
to
Correct determiner usage
the
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 quality of
work
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, tired workers would have less encouragement to do tasks and
effectiveness
Correct article usage
the effectiveness
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 of done tasks would decrease. I think that reducing
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 would make
better the international economy
Correct word order
the international economy better
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.
Workforce
Correct article usage
The workforce
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 could be more effective
due to
Linking Words
off
Correct article usage
the off
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days
Use synonyms
. Developing
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of
work
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, plays a crucial role in
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 system. When people get more
days
Use synonyms
 to relax, it will raise their motivation
to
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 job.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
outcome
Correct article usage
the outcome
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 would be better and raise
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 stability of every country.
Thus
Linking Words
,
four-day
Correct article usage
a four-day
show examples
Use synonyms
week
Check wording
work week
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 would not only improve workforce quality, but
also
Linking Words
 inccrease outcome, which have a positive effect on
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
 economic system. In conclusion, some individuals believe that companies should offer a four-day
Use synonyms
week
Check wording
work week
show examples
due to
Linking Words
rising of capacity of workforce
Correct word order
the rise in the workforce's capacity
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 I suppose that
four day
Correct your spelling
four-day
work
Use synonyms
 would be a good idea to improve the worldwide economy.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly. Say clearly why people want a four-day week, and say more clearly if it is good for the world economy.
task response
Develop your main ideas more. Some points are good, but they need more explanation.
task response
Use a more specific example to support your ideas. Your example about burnout is relevant, but it can be clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Linking is sometimes unclear because of grammar mistakes. Make sure each sentence connects clearly to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
Support each main point with a fuller explanation so the paragraph feels stronger and easier to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You included both an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphing is clear and easy to see.
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