Most countries spend large amount of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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It is argued that most
countries
spend Use synonyms
significant
amount of Correct article usage
a significant
resourses
on weapons to defend themselves even if they are not at war. Others Correct your spelling
resources
belive
that those Correct your spelling
believe
countries
should spend the Use synonyms
money
to help poor Use synonyms
countries
.
I thinkUse synonyms
,
I Punctuation problem
apply
am
agree with the statement of giving extra Verb problem
apply
money
to help poor Use synonyms
peope
. Correct your spelling
people
For example
, Linking Words
USA
provide to his army Correct article usage
the USA
milions
of dollars every year. The idea of defending Correct your spelling
millions
yourselfe
is natural, and I do not have any Correct your spelling
yourself
promlems
with that. But, Correct your spelling
problems
use
them on not nesessery weapons is Wrong verb form
using
realy
spending Correct your spelling
really
money
for nothing. I Use synonyms
belive
that we can use Correct your spelling
believe
this
Linking Words
money
for Use synonyms
much
more useful Correct article usage
a much
aproach
, Correct your spelling
approach
such
as helping poor people.
In conclusion, Linking Words
defend
yourself is a good idea, butWrong verb form
defending
,
do not forget about poor Punctuation problem
apply
countries
around the world.Use synonyms
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task response
Write your opinion in a clear way. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this the same in all the essay.
task response
Add one more main idea and explain it more. Now your ideas are short and not fully developed.
task response
Use a more clear example. Tell how the money can help poor countries in real life.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph about one main point. This will help your essay feel more ordered.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'in conclusion' in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some sentences stop too fast, so the flow is not smooth.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You include an example about the USA army.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main message is easy to follow most of the time.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite