IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 adapt
tp
Correct your spelling
to
 be self- employed
instead
Linking Words
 of working for a
company
Use synonyms
 and a organisation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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 trend and the
drawback
Check wording
drawbacks
show examples
 of being self-employed. One main reason why many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to
self-employed
Verb problem
be self-employed
show examples
 is that it gives them freedom and flexibility. Unlike employees, self-employed
people
Use synonyms
 can decide their own pathway, choose the projects they want to do and work which is suited their lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 is especially attractive to those who dislike being controlled by managers or
office
Correct article usage
an office
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 schedule. Another reason is the opportunity
of earning
Change preposition
to earn
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 more income.
if
Capitalize the word
If
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 their own business is successful or they
are
Verb problem
apply
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attract many clients, they may make more money than a
company
Use synonyms
 workers just receive an annual salary.
In addition
Linking Words
, the development of technology and social media has made it
easer
Correct your spelling
easier
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to start their own business or work from home.
However
Linking Words
, being self-employed
also
Linking Words
 has disadvantages. The first weakness is that they have an unstable income. When self-employed make
mistake
Check wording
mistakes
show examples
 in a project or fail to
satify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 clients, they have to take full responsibility for the consequences
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves.
This
Linking Words
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in losing customers, receiving no money, or having to spend extra money to fix the problem.
By contrast
Linking Words
, employees in a
company
Use synonyms
, they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 do not have an organisation to handle. Another is that self-employed workers usually have fewer opportunities to communicate and work in a professional environment,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which may
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 make them
may not able
Correct word choice
unable
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 to interact with colleagues, learn from experienced
co-worker
Check wording
co-workers
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.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 they can feel isolated and miss out on the benefits of
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
 workplace. In conclusion, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being self-employed
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 working for a
company
Use synonyms
 come with their own pros and cons.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many young
people
Use synonyms
 try to balance them so that they can achieve comprehensive development

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You tell why people choose this way and the bad sides, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Add one clear example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body paragraph on one main idea and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to see in most parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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