IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, busses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is widely believed that many
vehicles
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as cars, buses, and
trucks
Punctuation problem
trucks,
show examples
 will be
driverless
Use synonyms
 in the future and
people
Use synonyms
 will be only passengers inside these
vehicles
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 claim that
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 costs to
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
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 for drivers, I contend that the disadvantages completely outweigh the advantages because
Use synonyms
driverless's system
Check wording
driverless systems'
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 errors can cause danger to passengers'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Propornents
Correct your spelling
Proponents
 argue that
vehicles
Use synonyms
 should not use human
Use synonyms
driver
Check wording
drivers
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 for many problems.
This
Linking Words
 is because drivers who train for safety rules
are
Verb problem
incur
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 much cost
time
Change preposition
in time
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 and money.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
drive
Use synonyms
 these
vehicles
Use synonyms
 should have licenses for a
limit
Replace the word
limited
 number of
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 before getting jobs to
drive
Use synonyms
 public
transports
Check wording
transport
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
drive
Use synonyms
 public
transports
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transport
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,
such
Linking Words
 as buses
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and trains
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 many countries have many accidents
from
Change preposition
due to
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 careless
human
Check wording
humans
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. They want to introduce technology to
drive
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instead
Linking Words
 of humans, forcing to reduce
driver
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.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
this
Linking Words
non-humans
Replace the word
non-human
driver
Use synonyms
 is unsustainable in the long run. The main reason is that
driverless
Use synonyms
should
Check wording
vehicles should
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 be concerned about
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
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 of individuals’ lives. If
vehicles
Use synonyms
' system errors must be repaired,
these
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 will be a hugh accidents on the road.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
non-humans
Correct word choice
non-human
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 drivers can harm
for
Change preposition
apply
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many
people
Use synonyms
 who
drive
Use synonyms
 cars on the street.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 who are owners a non-human
drive
Use synonyms
Tesla's
Check wording
Tesla
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 car have many accidents on the road. Obviously,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 brings more negative ways in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that using
driverless
Use synonyms
might
Check wording
vehicles might
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 reduce
many
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 costs paid to
Use synonyms
driver
Check wording
drivers
show examples
, I contend that the negatives outweigh the positives because
this
Linking Words
 trend can cause danger
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
people'
Check wording
people's
show examples
 lives.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly why the bad points are stronger than the good points.
task response
Add one more clear idea about the good side or explain why it is weak.
task response
Use examples that are easy to understand and directly linked to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, because, for example, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the one before it.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
task response
You discuss both sides, so your answer fits the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Words like however, as a result, for example, and in conclusion help guide the reader.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • human error = mistakes made by people
  • road safety = how safe the roads are
  • self-driving vehicle = a vehicle that drives itself
  • passenger = a person who travels in a car, bus, or train but does not drive
  • traffic flow = the movement of cars on roads
  • reduce accidents = make the number of accidents lower
  • save time = use time in a better way
  • lose jobs = no longer have work
  • safety risk = danger to people’s safety
  • software problem = a problem in the computer system
  • be hacked = be attacked by criminals through a computer system
  • follow rules = obey rules
  • public trust = people’s belief that something is safe and good
  • outweigh = be greater than
  • in the long term = over a long time
What to do next:
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