In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should spent on researching another planet to live, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Improving technology and
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
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population make humanity search
to cosmos and find
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for
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new planets to live
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such
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on, such
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as Mars.
This
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gives us a new question that if we must spend more
money
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and focus on
this
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topic or not.
Although
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I admit
,
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apply
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that we must spend
money
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to realise
this
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idea, we have to consider
modern
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that modern
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technology
make
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makes
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humanity limited and spending more
money
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is
abele
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able
to give birth to
economical
Replace the word
economic
issues.
One
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On
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the one hand, spending billions on space research is a waste of
money
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,
while
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there is an array of problems that should be solved. Today, Drought and famine make people suffer.
Moreover
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, scientists still cannot cure serious diseases like cancer. If Governments give attention to these problems
,
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apply
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and spend
this
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huge amount of
money
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on them
,
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apply
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instead
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of an unclear future in space,
then
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this
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may help humanity.
On the other hand
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, the Earth is dealing with environmental crises
such
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as global warming and pollution. Ignoring all of that and focusing on new planets
aren't
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isn't
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logical
, our
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. Our
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first priority is to save our own home
,
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;
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we must protect nature and invest in green energy. In
this
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case, Earth will be safe enough to live for a long time
and
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, and
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there will be no need to find
new
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a new
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home like Mars. In conclusion,
i
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I
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don't agree that we should spend
money
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on looking for other planets for
future
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the future
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. As far as
i
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I
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am concerned, eliminating real problems is much more crucial. Whether we try to save the Earth, and do that,
then
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we won't need to move to Mars

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body paragraph.
task response
Add one clear example to support each main idea.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully so the reader can follow your point.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, so, and however.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long sentences with many ideas because they can confuse the reader.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Most ideas are about the topic and stay relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • future
  • earth
  • money
  • spend
  • plan
  • life
  • world
  • people
  • help
  • problem
  • need
  • risk
  • cost
  • time
  • learn
  • find
  • idea
  • safe
  • good
  • bad
  • work
  • more
  • less
  • together
  • many
  • some
  • could
  • should
  • would
  • but
  • you
  • we
  • they
  • care
  • trust
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