It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

It is often argued that schoolchildren should

prioritize

Change the spelling

prioritise

show examples

learning a local

history

Use synonyms

over a

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

. I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

statement

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I think that if

children

Use synonyms

study both histories, it will

totally affect on their future positively

Correct word order

have a positive effect on their future

show examples

. On the one hand, some

children

Use synonyms

do not even know the

history

Use synonyms

of their home country. Nowadays, when technologies are developing rapidly, young

children

Use synonyms

spend more time with smartphones, watching videos, and playing video games.

As a result

Linking Words

, they become less interested in the

world

Use synonyms

around them, including the origins of their country.

That is

Linking Words

the reason why

little

Correct word choice

young

show examples

students should learn more about their hometown's

history

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school. Local

history

Use synonyms

helps

children

Use synonyms

understand their own identity and culture, fostering a sense of pride and belonging. For

examlpe

Correct your spelling

example

, in Uzbekistan, students have a subject called "

History

Use synonyms

of Uzbekistan," through which they

learnt

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

about the origins of ancient castles and mosques.

On the other hand

Linking Words

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

is one of the most important subjects to know in modern life. By studying

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

broaden their horizons and learn a great deal about our

world

Use synonyms

beyond their homeland, teaching them about different cultures, events and their background.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, knowledge about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

lets communities from

over

Rephrase

all over

show examples

the

world

Use synonyms

work together on global issues,

such

Linking Words

as climate change or ocean pollution.

For instance

Linking Words

, South-East Asian countries like Indonesia, Thailand, and Vietnam cooperate to reduce ocean

polution

Correct your spelling

pollution

and clean ocean water from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human garbage. In conclusion,

children

Use synonyms

should understand the local

history

Use synonyms

to remember

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their ancestors, to know about their culture and origins properly.

However

Linking Words

, they should

also

Linking Words

learn

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

to be informed about global events and to broaden their horizons, fostering a more well-rounded perspective on how modern society was shaped.

fatullayevfarrux70

Jun 25, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make your main answer more clear from the start. Say exactly how far you agree or disagree.

task response

Add one more clear idea in each body part and explain it a bit more.

task response

Use examples that match the history topic more closely.

coherence and cohesion

Link some ideas more smoothly. A few lines feel a bit sudden.

coherence and cohesion

Check small word choice and grammar problems because they can make meaning less clear.

coherence and cohesion

Keep each paragraph focused on one main point, then explain it fully.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

task response

You use examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The order of ideas is easy to follow most of the time.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of university?
In recent years, the debate on the syllabus taught in universities has been widely discussed. People have different views on whether colleges should impart specific practical skills that would be useful for a student’s future career or be given the freedom to a range of knowledge. In my view, while tailoring a curriculum to suit a particular job can increase the graduates' chances of securing a job, limiting the amount of intelligence a person can learn and restricting their skill set can reduce other opportunities.
7.5
band
Write essay about "Cars with big Engines Should Be Avoided in Cities".Write essay about "Cars with big Engines Should Be Avoided in Cities".
Cars with big engines are fast and strong, but they are not good for cities. Cities are crowded and need cars that are small, quiet, and efficient. Powerful cars cause problems like more pollution, higher costs, and difficulties in busy streets.
7
band
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Currently, most governments spend a large part of their budget not only on public services, but also the arts. Although it is necessary to channel a proportion of government money toward this sector, most should be spent on public services.
7
band
Working parents strive to achieve a balance between career and family, but only a few manage to achieve it. What is the reason according to you? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.
This is a really argumentative matter that fathers and mothers who are working and attempt to create coordination between work and family while some of them can not do it successfully, some of them which are a small number of them can do it.
7.5
band
Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is argued that the extinction of variety in languages can lead to a unique tongue in the world and human life’s become more convenient. Most, myself included, believe that this phenomenon would harm cultural heritage and society’s identity, moreover, historical thoughts and ideas will disappear as well.

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Write essay about "Cars with big Engines Should Be Avoided in Cities".Write essay about "Cars with big Engines Should Be Avoided in Cities".

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Working parents strive to achieve a balance between career and family, but only a few manage to achieve it. What is the reason according to you? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?