In many countries paying for things using mobile phones (cell phone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages ?

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There has been a growing discussion about paying for things using mobile phone
apps
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, and it is becoming really common.
Although
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this
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trend has both positive and negative aspects, I believe that the
advantages
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far outweigh the disadvantages, and
this
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essay will explain why. One of the most significant
advantages
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of paying for things
by
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with
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mobile phone
apps
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is that it is helpful.
For example
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, people can pay without real cards because they have them on their phones, and they can
also
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pay online without going to the shop.
This
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clearly demonstrates that life will be easier because they can pay for everything by using cell phone
apps
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.
Moreover
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, the costs of
apps
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will increase because people will depend on
apps
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and use them a lot in their daily
life
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lives
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to pay.
This
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shows that the
apps
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will be developed.
Therefore
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,
this
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clearly supports my view.
On the other hand
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, there are a few drawbacks to consider.
For instance
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, paying online can be harmful, and it can be a big issue. To illustrate, users can be hacked by hackers, and the
apps
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may be unsafe. That means they will lose their money, and their personal information may
also
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be leaked.
As a result
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, these problems can often be
minimized
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minimised
show examples
through strict payment rules. In conclusion, the
advantages
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make
this
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development more positive in the long term. I believe the
advantages
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far outweigh the disadvantages in
this
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case.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more fully. You say the good points are stronger, but your ideas are still quite general.
task response
For task response, add more clear and real examples. This will make your points stronger and easier to believe.
task response
For task response, explain some ideas more carefully. For example, the point about app costs going up does not clearly show why this is a good thing.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link some ideas more smoothly. At times, one sentence does not connect very well to the next one.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, support each main point with a fuller explanation. Some points stop too soon.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view in the conclusion.
task response
You discuss both good and bad sides, so you address the full question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like 'for example', 'moreover', and 'as a result' to connect ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mobile payments
  • Biometric authentication
  • Transaction costs
  • Budgeting
  • Technological barriers
  • Privacy concerns
  • Data breaches
  • Identity theft
  • Over-reliance
  • Market fragmentation
  • Competing payment apps
  • Financial inclusion
  • Security features
  • User convenience
  • Cashless transactions
  • Digital wallet
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