IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your friend is about to celebrate a landmark birthday and would welcome suggestions as to how it should be celebrated. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • say what type of party should be held e.g. themed, fancy dress, black tie event • suggest a suitable venue • make recommendations as to entertainment e.g. DJ, jazz band

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Dear Liu, I hope you are doing well. I heard that you are
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
 to arrange your
33 years
Replace the word
33rd
birthday's
Check wording
birthday
show examples
party
Use synonyms
. And, you want some ideas for the
party
Use synonyms
. For the
themed
Replace the word
theme
, I suggest
,
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 student uniform themed. So, we can
flashback
Replace the word
flash back
 our memories when we were kids. Plus, it should be fun to see our
friends
Use synonyms
 dress up in school uniform
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
. You have a lot of
friends
Use synonyms
, I think, the restaurant located near the plaza in Greenborough should be nice. They can help you to
oganise
Correct your spelling
organise
 your foods, and
baverages
Correct your spelling
beverages
. The budget can be
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussed
show examples
 with the manager. I have his number, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 you can directly
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
ring him. He will give you some
dicounts
Correct your spelling
discounts
 when you
told
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
 him that you are
Use synonyms
friends
Check wording
a friend
show examples
 of mine. Just told him my name. One more piece of
suggestions
Check wording
suggestion
show examples
, Bob
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 is one of our
friends
Use synonyms
. He works as
DJ
Correct article usage
a DJ
show examples
 in the JJ club
Correct word choice
, so
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it
should
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be better to
call
Verb problem
invite
show examples
 him to be your guest
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 your
party
Use synonyms
. He knows us well, so
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it should be great
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if he entertains us. Call me if you need more help. Can't wait to join your Birthday's
party
Use synonyms
. Lots of love, Em

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the task, but add a little more detail for each idea.
task response
Task response: Your tone is friendly, but some word use is not natural. Keep the style warm and clear.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in each part and link ideas with simple words like and, so, because.
task response
Task response: You give a party type, a place, and entertainment, so the task is complete.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The greeting and closing are both good for a letter to a friend.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • milestone birthday
  • themed party
  • fancy dress
  • black-tie event
  • elegant
  • sophisticated
  • atmosphere
  • venue
  • rooftop
  • cozy
  • trendy
  • garden venue
  • DJ
  • live jazz band
  • interactive entertainment
  • photo booth
  • magician
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