IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The pictures illustrate the changes in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The maps show the changes in Shipsmouth from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 has been transformed into
urbanized
Correct determiner usage
an urbanised
show examples
 area. With new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
airport
Correct article usage
an airport
show examples
,
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, apartment blocks, and
pub
Correct article usage
a pub
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, trees
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been removed to
give a
Verb problem
make
show examples
 way for new facilities. Turning to
details
Correct article usage
the details
show examples
 of the western side of the
city
Use synonyms
, trees were cut
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 apartment blocks were constructed. Another significant change is the demolition of
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
show examples
, which polluted
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
, to construct
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Other alterations in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 included the modification of
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 road to pedestrianized zone. The station remained
interact
Replace the word
intact
, with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 station on top of the
city
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Turning to the eastern side of the
city
Use synonyms
,
church
Correct article usage
the church
show examples
 had gone and in its place was
pub
Correct article usage
a pub
show examples
. Old houses were demolished to
give a
Verb problem
make
show examples
 way for modern skyscrapers. The removal of trees to construct
airport
Correct article usage
an airport
show examples
 is another significant change.
To sum up
Linking Words
, Shipsmouth has been changed into
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
urbanization
Change the spelling
urbanisation
show examples
 area
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, greeneries were removed to give a place for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new facilities.

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task response
Task response: Give a clearer overview. Say the main changes in one short sentence, for example that the town became more built up and lost many trees.
task response
Task response: Cover all key changes and be exact. Some points are not clear or may be wrong, so check the map details carefully before you write.
task response
Task response: Use more direct comparisons between 1995 and 2010, not only a list of changes.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good, but some sentences do not link well.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Group ideas by area well, but use simpler linking words like 'in the west', 'in the east', 'also', and 'while' to make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Check noun forms and articles because small grammar errors make some ideas hard to follow, for example 'the city', 'an urban area', and 'the church was removed'.
task response
Task response: You included the main trend that the place became more modern and more built up.
task response
Task response: You mentioned several key changes such as flats, a shop area, a pub, and an airport.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You used clear paragraphing with an overview and detail paragraphs for the west and east sides.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The ending gives a clear final summary of the whole map.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban development
  • infrastructure
  • gentrification
  • commercial expansion
  • ecological impact
  • residential growth
  • transportation networks
  • public amenities
  • waterfront redevelopment
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